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Chuck
New member
Username: Chuck
Post Number: 2
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 10, 2005 - 09:49 pm: | 
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I have a serious question for the ladies. When you have been told you are to receive a disciplinary spanking what are you thinking and what are the emotions you feel? I am not speaking of an erotic or play spanking but a serious punishment.
Thanks
Chuck |
Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 777
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 11, 2005 - 08:26 am: |
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I guess I am the first one up to bat in answering this question, as not all of us are into the disciplinary life style.
My first response is an unspoken "hell, no!" and I will try to talk myself out of the situation as fast as I can. I attempt to justify, deny, cajole, appease, anything and everything. I have found nothing yet that works once my husband has already set the agenda in action. I am nervous and flustered even though I know he would never really hurt me. It is just the knowledge that I disappointed him and myself. I am uncomfortable with knowing that I am being forced to pay the price for my actions. Mostly that means I was not being sensible or thinking my actions through before acting. There is a comfort that comes with knowing that someone cares enough to step in and correct the situation, but that doesn't come until after the spanking. I find it very difficult to just take the spanking because that means I have to admit to myself that I messed up, and I don't like to do that. So I attempt to delay and back away. This is where I need to see a gentle but definate firmess, to persuade me. I am sometimes already near tears because I hate to upset someone I love, but I don't want to be disciplined. Once the spanking begins, I come to contition rather quickly, but understand that I need to be taken past the initial "how dare you" to a point of acceptance. That flip flop of my stomach comes to me even as I just write about it.
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 224
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 12:32 am: |
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Hi Chuck and welcome!
For me it depends on the type of disciplinary spanking. If we are talking a corrective spanking...which can be anything from a light hand spanking to a real hard BG, then I think I view it as a neccesary evil. I deny that its coming for as long as possible, especially the more serious ones...but I accept them once it's time. I dont like them per se, but I know I need them to keep my world going around smoothly.
But if it's a real punishment spanking, using our rituals and my punishment paddle...I am filled with dread! I am only punished for serious problems or infractions, and like Fanny I hate upsetting or disappointing him. I know that it will be a hard thing for both of us to go through, that I will probably cry and need tons of reassurance afterwards. I promised the both of us after the last time that I would do everything possible to keep from deserving a punishment spanking ever again...and so far I've succeeded.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
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Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 784
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 09:27 am: |
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You are much better behaved than me, Wolfie. Sometimes I have a hard time keeping those good girl promises.
It's not that I'm not trying. 
"Queen of Innocence"
If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning!
"oooooo", she says!!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 226
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 10:21 am: |
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Believe me Fanny, there are some promises I find it almost impossible to keep. Ask Steve about me and curfew sometime. 
Its just that we reserve true punishment spankings for very serious offenses, ones I already know I shouldnt have done/dont want to repeat. And since most of the actual punishment for me is psychological, it definitely has a way of making sure I dont want to go through it a second time. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
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Biggirl
New member
Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 30
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 11:19 am: |
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Wolfie & Fanny:
What is considered a "punishment" infraction for your relationships?
I am a beginner & curious so please don't answer if it is too personal.
I have another ?.........did it start out like that in your relationships or did it evolve? And do you have "set rules" that you yourselves have argeed to accept a "punishment" spanking for or is that comepletely up to your spanking/life partners?
I feel conflicted about it. I have fantasized about it. A lot actually. But taking it out of the realm of private fantasy & into reality is terrifying to me. So for now & probably a long while that is going to stay fantasy for me. I think a big part of it is that my fantasizing mind can go way farther then my behind would ever be willing to go.
Does that sound as crazy to all of you as it sounds to me????????????????????
BigGirl |
Bendover
New member
Username: Bendover
Post Number: 8
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 12:45 pm: |
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BigGirl writes:
> taking it out of the realm of private fantasy & into reality is terrifying to me.
I think it's good to be able to talk to an intimate partner about fantasy, if he/she can be trusted not to embarass or ridicule about it. It's part of communication with a mate, and if you can't share these things there's another barrier to intimacy.
Once you are able to talk about it (whether it be spanking or any other kinks) you can approach your mate about trying something fairly safe. A playful birthday spanking is a long way from the things we're probably talking about here. Keeping it all to yourself could mean a missed wonderful opportunity for both of you. Just my $.02
> my fantasizing mind can go way farther then my behind would ever be willing to go.
I wouldn't be surprised if that's true for all of us, even us Tops. We all need limits, self imposed or not.
- Ben Dover |
Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 789
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 02:37 pm: |
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BigGirl, There is a difference in our relationship between being a "bad girl" and receiving real punishment. I have only received three punishment spankings, and I know for a fact that I will not repeat the offenses. Punishment is saved for when I have done something that could have resulted in serious results. It didn't come about until many years into our amrriage. All three times I knew I had done something inappropriate and truthfully I did feel better when I had been taken to task for it. Well, not right away, but eventually.
"Queen of Innocence"
If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning!
"oooooo", she says!!
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Beachley
Junior Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 82
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 04:01 pm: |
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My punishments have been far and few between. The last one was last August of 2004. 
I dislike the serious tone that punishment takes within our relationship. I love spanking when it is fun and play even if we are sort of playing at discipline. But if it is serious then it loses all appeal.
BUT -- punishment does have it's place in straightening out certain situations, thoughts, ideas.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 228
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 06:53 pm: |
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Biggirl, a corrective spanking is generally for milder offenses...things like swearing, procrastination, breaking curfew, being bratty and anything else you and your Top/Dom decide is spankable. I have a small notebook that I keep track of them in, and we "settle up" when we get together. Most of the corrections for these things are relatively mild...except for the one or two I tend to break over and over again. 
Real punishment spankings are for serious problems or attitude adjustments. Not taking care of myself or endangering my health is one example.
Our relationship has definitely evolved with time. What started out as a friendship became love, and eventually we began working our way towards a domestic discipline lifestyle. There has always been lots of discussion of every aspect...communication is the key to making this work. We have argued, disagreed and compromised about lots of things. Eventually we moved from Top/bottom to Master/sub and I accepted his collar. We have written rules which I use as a guideline and which help to remind me if I think I'm stepping out of bounds.
This has been a long process for us, he is an experienced Master and I am still very new to understanding the submissive side of myself. But we talk about everything, and I have never been happier than with him in my life. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
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Biggirl
New member
Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 31
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 13, 2005 - 10:57 pm: |
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Thanks for all the input everyone.
Basically what I have been doing is letting him set the pace. I answer questions & talk when he initiates it. I figure that appoarch is least likely to "push" him.
I find it much easier to speak openly about intamicies when I am answering questions as opposed to being the one who "brings up the subject". True intimacy......like I have said before I try to be honest even when it makes me look bad.....I have never aloud myself to go there. Ever. Not with my ex....or G. It's me & I know it.
I am a real Aqaurian.....I am "thinking" all the time. And that is one thing I want to....attain
in myself. That ability to be emotionally intimate with another. I think spanking can help me in the allowing myself to be emotionally intimate.
Does that make any sense at all? Sometimes it is so hard to know the best words to use to describe what I am thinking or feeling.
Brightest Blessings,BigGirl (PS:Thanks again) |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 239
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 14, 2005 - 12:48 am: |
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I think I understand BigGirl...there is a very special intimacy between disciplinarian and the one he spanks. He knows what your offenses are, understands your need for punishment and sees you at your most vulnerable. Afterwards he provides the solace and comfort that you need to find your equilibrium again. It can create a very close bond.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
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