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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 307
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, August 05, 2005 - 10:04 pm: | 
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Gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment? I have a question here, that I know many of us females would like answers to. What is it about spanking that turns men on?
What kind of scenarios do men like? Do most role play, or simply do the scolding/stern voice bit? And what kind of responses do they like most, submissive and obediant, or bratty? Do most men like OTK, or different positions?
Is it the feeling of power and dominance that makes a spanking fulfilling for the male partner? Does he like thinking that he's "helping" her by correcting bad behavior? Does he enjoy her bratting him, or just put up with it? Why do some men put a lot of time and effort into learning how to spank well and do all the rest, and some just figure that if she's sore afterwards they've done their job?
I really would like to know guys, it's not just idle curiosity. I know why we women like it, and get so turned on...but I really want a man's perspective here. Please help us to understand you better, and not take so for granted that your having as much fun as we are!
Thanks!
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
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Biggirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 58
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, August 05, 2005 - 10:58 pm: |
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I too would like to know the answer to those questions & have a few myself. I want to talk to G about our spanking relationship some more. I am so ridiculously mute when I try to talk about it with him. It would help me. I have yet to find a "postive" website that discusses a mans perspective on spanking.
BigGIrl |
Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 206
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, August 06, 2005 - 12:59 pm: |
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BigGirl,
there is a free blog written from a man's perspective. It is a wonderful site and very instructive. It is Loving Domestic Discipline. He explains the procedure and the reasoning behind it and also the pitfalls that can cause problems. Check it out. I go there almost every day to see if he has posted something else.
Let me know what you think.
SNN
Sassy Sassy Sassy
No one can be as Sassy as me!
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Wild1
New member
Username: Wild1
Post Number: 6
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, August 06, 2005 - 01:51 pm: |
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Also I would like to hear from the male switch/bottom perspective.
SNN what is the address for the blog you mentioned? I'd be interested in checking it out.
wild1;)
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 311
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 05:27 pm: |
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Gee, its too bad that the guys wont answer my questions and that you all feel you have to go elsewhere for your information. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
WHY ISN'T IT OCTOBER YET?
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Wild1
New member
Username: Wild1
Post Number: 11
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 05:35 pm: |
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i agree Wolfie...so come on gentlemen (i am using that term lightly)please fill us women folk in...we are waiting.....
wild1;)
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Sparky555
New member
Username: Sparky555
Post Number: 5
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 08:38 pm: |
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I can't resist such appeals, although I have never quite managed to put all my thoughts into words. But, I will try - from the male 'switch' point of view. Functioning as a 'top', I find the experience to be more physical than metaphysical, although the need to adopt a tone that meets the situation is essential for the right application of any justified punishment. I can confess that spanking anticipating quivering cheeks is a fantastic turn-on. No humiliation though - that's not for me, either top or bottom.
As a bottom - it's all physical. I just love having my bottom warmed! The strength of the experience matching the circumstances and the partner. A caning from a dominating 'top' to an OTK with lesser domination. No BD - just SM. Just the thought sets arousal soaring.
Hope that helps in getting this interesting thread under way. Sparky.
My turn - bend over!
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Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 207
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 08:55 pm: |
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For those of you interested, the Loving Domestic Discipline site can be found at:
http://lovingdd.blogspot.com/
It is well worth a look-see!
Sassy Sassy Sassy
No one can be as Sassy as me!
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Darwins
Junior Spanko
Username: Darwins
Post Number: 77
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 05:03 am: |
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I can understand why many would not choose perhaps to answer this question – it is very difficult to actually put feelings into words. Sometimes you know it is better not to analyse why you like doing something, especially if what you like also harbours a degree of guilt about WHAT your doing.
There is a light and dark side to this of course, the light side is the knowing that you are giving pleasure, while the dark side is that you enjoy giving pain.
Personally I have no conflicts about these things.
Since everything I do is consensual (well more or less  ) I know my partner is enjoying what I’m doing so for me to take pleasure in the actual act of giving pain is not something to feel guilty about. I freely confess I enjoy inflicting the pain and seeing the results and feelings that it engenders in my partner.
As many of you know I enjoy mind games, I enjoy the power aspect that it gives and yes I enjoy the look of fear in the eyes, as they are never quite sure how far you might go. The conflict you see between trust and uncertainty is a very heady combination and a real buzz.
I do like the “correctional” aspect of this too, please note I say “correctional” rather than discipline which is NOT fun but which never the less IS a part of it that you have to accept. I like the feeling that my words action and deeds do make a difference to a person’s life, and I like having the responsibility for the person.
Perhaps it is the engineer in me but taking some one and making them function better, or straightening out the mangled bits and putting them back together, using my power, my personality and my will to make them happier is what it is for me.
I'm a king bee baby Buzzing round your hive
we can make honey baby if you let me come inside
Come on babe lets buzzzzz a while.
(Rolling Stones)
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1053
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 10:22 am: |
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Oh is that what it is Steve? I am married to an engineer and that must be his "excuse" as well.
"Queen of Innocence"
When the going gets tough, the tough paddle harder (white water raft quote)
"oooooo", she says!!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 315
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 06:59 pm: |
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Fanny, I think you would be surprised at how many Tops/Doms are engineers. Ann's hubby is one as well.
Thank you gentlemen for helping to answer my questions.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
WHY ISN'T IT OCTOBER YET? *stamp*
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1073
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 07:01 pm: |
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damn what are they teaching at these universities?!?! Dom 101?
"Queen of Innocence"
When the going gets tough, the tough paddle harder (white water raft quote)
"oooooo", she says!!
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Pagan
Junior Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 69
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 09:52 pm: |
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I think my husband started doing it to please me...discovered how er...enthusiastic it made me...and now enjoys the wonders of foolproof and rapidly effective foreplay. 
If I asked him why...I'm very confident that he'd simply say "because you like it". |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 322
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 09:55 pm: |
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And really, what better reason could there be than that?
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
WHY ISN'T IT OCTOBER YET? *stamp*
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Sparky555
New member
Username: Sparky555
Post Number: 8
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 10, 2005 - 08:50 pm: |
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Only male responses to that loaded M/F question so far! Understandable - it's difficult to put such conflicting emotions and desires into words. Since the first time my quivering elevn-year-old shanks in gaberdine received two strokes of the tawse for not paying attention to the beautiful school teacher I was day-dreaming about, I have been fascinated by the thoughts and deeds of being spanked and spanking. Nothing sexual in those early days, just unexplained physical excitement. Perhaps if we all started thinking back to origins, we might find the answer to the loaded question. And have some fun in the finding out!
Sparky
My turn - bend over!
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Wild1
New member
Username: Wild1
Post Number: 42
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 10, 2005 - 09:56 pm: |
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I found refreshing it to hear from a males point of view...especially since in all honesty I think men at one point do like to be "dominated" by a woman even if it is only for a short period of time
(Message edited by wild1 on August 10, 2005)
wild1 ;)
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Bigfoot1408
Junior Spanko
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 64
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 11, 2005 - 07:30 pm: |
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as a middle aged newby i would have to repeat pagan's answer..... because you like it.
my s/o teases and challenges me to spank her. i am slowly getting over the idea that i am causing her a lot of pain. and realizing that she really does like it... she won't tell me how she wants it so i am blundering along until i figure it out.. now i have decided that she likes my blundering,,,,,, she also likes the build up i give as in showing her a picture of a boat paddle hanging from the ceiling ,,,, her friends attack her wanting to know how it was.
back to the question of what we get out of it... it is as varied as we tops are and you bottoms are. but in each case that i have read about pagan hit it on the head,,, because you like it. {and i enjoy pleasing you.......}
any top who spanks for only his pleasure is doing it for the wrong reason.
no..... i use only my hand... the paddle is a tease for her friends.... buuuuttt,, hmmmm maybe,,,,,, |
Youngster
New member
Username: Youngster
Post Number: 1
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Friday, August 12, 2005 - 04:40 am: |
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Hi there!
I am brand new on this forum. So this is my first post. =)
It maybe hard to awser the question "What is it about spanking that turns men on?" becase I think it maybe can be differnt from person to person.
I am just 20 years old and I gote spanked by one girl, and most of the times it was over her knee. I like that position best maybe becase it feels that the women has controll over the spanking and hold me stady with her owne power to get it done. And I don't think most ladys are able to spank there men over the knee against there will, so when you have that in mind it makes it more hot. Another thing that make a spanking better to me is if the lady is older than me then she looks more powerful in my eyes and she fells more dominance. I never got spanked by any lady that have been older then me, but I would like to try sometime. Any strict women over 20 out there that would like to spank a 20 year old guy? ;)
I never tested rollplay, but I think I would prefer "student and teather". I don't like to be on topp so much, just if the girl whats to try I do it.
I hope this awser would help a little bet. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1135
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, August 12, 2005 - 10:22 am: |
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I'm positive there are many "older" woman out there to meet your needs, youngster. We are not a match up service, but I know you are speaking for many guys your age.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Nky13
New member
Username: Nky13
Post Number: 4
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 - 03:55 pm: |
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Wow...I've thought about that off and on over the years until I decided the answer was "Because."
I know that from the time I was six or so, my pants would get too tight, if you get my drift, thinking about spanking, esp. administering one!
It is a turn on, definitely. And during discipline spankings I find that reining my libido in is something of a challenge. But this brings me back around to "Because!" ;-) |
Morbus
New member
Username: Morbus
Post Number: 5
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 03:31 pm: |
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Hi all. What a good forum! I'm a male and the thing that really gets me going about a "loving spanking" is the fact that your partner loves you and trusts you enough to give her what she wants. That, for me, is the biggest turn on. She knows that she can trust you to not really go much beyoind her tolerances and thresholds. And of course there is that feeling of power. How often do we poor blokes get to be in total control? Answer = as often as we are allowed! |
Bottomman
New member
Username: Bottomman
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 02, 2005 - 10:33 am: |
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The first time I was spanked was when I was 15,and a freshman in school.The "woman"(she was a senior 17-18)that lived next door,and her friend are the ones that introduced me to it.Ever since then,I have never been with a woman younger than me.My Wife of 12yrs is 7 yers older.She spanks me for fun,we both get real turned on!When it is for punishment,it is a different story!I have never grown up.I have had my own Bike shop for 20yrs.If the guys could see me with a bruised bottom,over my Wifes knee!!
I have an agressive dominate personality,except with my wife.What turns me on about it?I don't exactly know,I just go with the flow!! |
Bottomman
New member
Username: Bottomman
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 02, 2005 - 10:33 am: |
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(Message edited by bottomman on September 02, 2005) |
Kittycat
New member
Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 26
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 03, 2005 - 05:57 pm: |
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i have a question. my partner knows i am on these sites. he's fine with it as long as he doesn't catch me on it. if he catches me, i always get a spanking. Has anyone else been caught doing something they shouldnt have, and how were they punished? |
Daldrw
New member
Username: Daldrw
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005 - 04:03 pm: |
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As a male newbie to the group, I find myself wanting to comment on Wolfie's question to men about what it is that they get out of being the spanker in spanking relationships. My thoughts on this will be limited and introductory in nature. Further exposition can come in the future, if desired.}}
(l) I think that men derive great satisfaction from their top / dom roles because it is a natural and authentic way for them to express some or all of the essential traits that socio-biologists label as historically masculine. In assuming a top / dom / or "spanker" as opposed to "spankee" role, a spanker is being masculine. He or she is living out some or all of the traits historically labeled as masculine: dominance, control, leadership, guidance, authority, power, strength, and responsibility for the care and welfare of others.
When I spank or paddle a woman in a disciplinary way, I am first and foremost exercising authority over her. I like this. I am an authoritative person. Being authoritarian is an essential part of my make up. Its central to who I am. It is, in my opinion, a part of my maleness, my masculinity. I am a "take charge" kind of guy.
If and when I spank a woman in a disciplinary way, I am taking charge of her. I am trying to correct, control, guide, and lead her. I am looking out for her welfare. I am caring about her and her and our wellbeing. Being this way….living out my masculinity in this way…..is a "turn on" for me. It makes me feel more alive, more authentic…more who I was intended to be.
Some women are very passionate and very spirited. I prefer STRONG, SPIRITED, PASSIONATE women. They turn me on. However, I have yet to know a woman, no matter how strong and how powerful, who does not also have a part; sometimes way, deep down within; that wants to be led and dominated by an even stronger, more powerful man than she.
I think that this is part of woman's biological and sociological "wiring." There has been a part of most women that I have known that wants to be led, "lorded over," even conquered…that wants, ultimately, to submit o a strong, powerful, PROTECTIVE male force.
Being this kind of man with a woman who needs, appreciates, values and wants such is a tremendous turn on for me. Disciplinary spanking is often a natural part of such a relationship, and when done well and right, can be immensely satisfying for both the man and the woman, as it ministers to the needs of their respective masculinity and femininity. |
Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 289
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005 - 05:06 pm: |
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Wow, Daldrw, you write so well. I found I agreed to everything you wrote. Thanks for the posting. I think I'm going to send it to my bf!
SNN
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Zippo
New member
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 23, 2005 - 12:50 pm: |
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Its seeing how hot it makes her!! She is definitely a brat, constantly doing things she knows will irritate me. Being the 'top' I like the feeling that I am in total control of the spanking as to its severity and duration. Although my s/o feels I am timid and do not spank her enough for her misdeeds. I do not spank in anger as I feel that could lead to injury. We have tried role playing, which I like, but she seems to prefer being spanked for real infractions that warrent punishment. We have a habit of rubbing her bottom down with a lotion after a good spanking as it tends to dry out the skin and then cuddle for awhile so that she is reassured that I still love her which often leads to other very enjoyable activities. Knowing all this while I spank her is what makes spanking so hot for me, and I find a nice heatly glow on a bare bottom very attractive. |
Babyj4
Junior Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 85
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 23, 2005 - 03:55 pm: |
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well, I asked my hb why he likes it and the only response I could get out of him was I don't know. I can say this much, we don't role play, (though I'd like to) we useually don't have sex with out spanking too. useually I tell him I've been a bad girl, or he says I am a bad girl, and that leads to a good sentual spanking.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Wm82465
New member
Username: Wm82465
Post Number: 9
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2005 - 08:39 pm: |
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good answer baby Jj...LMAO |
Eod
New member
Username: Eod
Post Number: 5
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2005 - 11:31 pm: |
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Power.
Open-endedness.
Her intensely more pleasurable orgasms when there is sex with spanking as about to sex without. This is crucial - when she has less pleasure my use of physical force makes the act of spanking tawdry and near abuse. I love to bring her to pleasure very, very slowly and spanking and/or the threat of it.
Never would I spank for the purpose of discipline. Never. I assume my wife's judgment about how she conducts her life is at least as good as my judgment about how she conducts her life. Discipline spankings would imply inequality and disrespect in our relationship. I could probably have exercised that dubious "right" early in our relationship, as my wife is accommodating to a fault. I am so glad I didn't because this would have eroded her sense of control over her life. We've raised our kids to have control over their lives - why would I want to have the situation otherwise with my wife? She would become less of a person and less interesting to me (not to mention the loss to her). Self-confidence in a woman is highly appealing, although abrasiveness has the opposite effect on me.
What does work is ridiculous scenarios that accompany spankings - stories that I tell that involve her in fictitious settings that we are both fully aware would never happen in life, but are stimulating to indulge in, in a spanking foreplay situation. I create a no-win situation for her in each of these situations and she is spanked for it. For example, I have (in one story) her and a female friend over at the house, and the first one to bring the other's panties to me doesn't get spanked by me. Describing the scene (her wrestling with Woman 2) in great detail is a huge huge turn on for her - the spanking is relatively intense at appropriate parts of the story - but the scene releases her of inhibitions and acts as a silent guarantee that nothing ever in real life would support me spanking her for punishment only.
Spanking = sex for us.
Oops - a bit long.
E |
Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 5
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 01:39 am: |
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Fascinating reading here...please may I have more? I've tried to get to the bottom (pun intended) of this question on several occasions and am glad to hear it straight from the "tops" perspective.
Poofette |
Badtom
New member
Username: Badtom
Post Number: 20
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 05:22 am: |
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Hi Poofette - hard call, but a fascinating one - everyone's got their own stories to tell, and I love reading them. I certainly find it difficult to put into words, and as a switch the feelings as top and bottom are defnitely inextricably linked, confusing me further still.
In a nutshell, I like all aspects of spanking - visuality, sensuality, humiliation, power games. As a person who wishes equality, including within my own relationship with my partner, maybe I ought to have a problem with power games, but when it comes to sex - not all the time, but often, we enjoy some element of me exercising male domination. And spanking for me as a top is an extension of this, the thrill multiplied by other things like seeing her draped over my lap, hearing her reaction, feeling her struggle. The knowing that she is willingly submitting. I think that power games have at least a notion of being non-mutual, but in reality both people are on the same wavelength.
I was walking in a deer park in London the other day, and I saw a stag roaring dominantly and herding his females along through the trees - the way he glared at the stragglers, I felt if he had hands not cloven hoofs, he might well be tempted to swat a couple for dilly dallying! Whether we admit to it or not, I think a lot of us blokes have this instinct - we don't all the get the chance to exercise it. But if not mutual and in a realm of love, it sort of smacks of bullying, which I do not like.
I like power games the other way, and as a male bottom, there are lots of levels and possibilities that I like to explore - but it's all tied to the reasons above I'm pretty sure. For instance, although I'm not transexual, I would give me right spanking arm just to be a woman for a moment and experience the punishment and erotic feelings from her point of view. This goes around in circles when I try and explain it - I project myself into both spanker and spankee roles a lot of the time. Is that greedy?! This is a bit long, so I'll not go into bottom detail now. |
Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 37
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 10:11 am: |
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Daldrw wrote: "I have yet to know a woman, no matter how strong and how powerful, who does not also have a part; sometimes way, deep down within; that wants to be led and dominated by an even stronger, more powerful man than she. "
Well howdy, Daldrw, even though it's only online, right at this moment...you're meeting one now!   , won't you be surprised when you meet one, in person, that proves your sexist thinking wrong.
Daldrw, also wrote: "I think that this is part of woman's biological and sociological "wiring." There has been a part of most women that I have known that wants to be led, "lorded over," even conquered…that wants, ultimately, to submit o a strong, powerful, PROTECTIVE male force. "
Good one!  "Part of a woman's biological and socialogical wiring"....please don't put all women into one singular category.
I do notice you then change to imply "most women," but also hope that you realize that "most women" really aren't the same, just as (thankfully) all men are not alike. 
"Lorded over"  that's a new one for me. "Conqured?" I don't think this can be a statement toward "most" women at all. (If a man tried to "conqure me, I'm afraid he might no longer be able to be biologically considered a man, when I'm through with him.  )
Seriously, I truly feel this is just "most" men's fantasies. I find that the women, that I know, are ones that enjoy men, but they don't "need" to "submit," or be "protected." Many are strong, confident and self sufficient, in spite of enjoying spanking, or being spanked. Independence is the generally desired trait for most women (and men for that matter), with the need for a man in other delicious ways. 
And: "Disciplinary spanking is often a natural part of such a relationship, and when done well and right, can be immensely satisfying for both the man and the woman, as it ministers to the needs of their respective masculinity and femininity."
In a male dominant relationship, yes this works, but, and I don't want this to sound like I'm trying to flame, but I think you might consider your words, or perceptions of things, not to include putting dominance and submission to the characteristics of "masculinity" and "femininity" respectively (as you ended the above paragraph). It's not a fair assessment to either men or the women, and to Doms/tops or sub/bottoms.
A man that enjoys being spanked isn't expressing his 'feminine' side (although some may be ). It's not a spanker that is always 'masculine.' Anyone that knows me, will see a strong woman, but there's nothing masculine about me.
The characteristics of a spanker and spankee are not typical at all, as I see it, and stereotyping the sexes into an old fashioned way of thinking is fine in fantasy and in play, but it's not a fair assessment to how some (or even "many") think in this day and age.
Fun is fun, and fantasy is not always reality. I don't think it's fair to project a June and Ward Cleaver dimension in today's ever changing world...is like the "Leave it To Beaver" show...dead and only on cable. 
Women aren't necessarily the weaker sex anymore.
K
Edited for a typo...dang keyboard!
(Message edited by ftopinmichigan on October 14, 2005) |
Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 152
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 03:35 pm: |
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I agree with Ftop and I also agree with Daldrw. I know many women who are strong and capable in their own right BUT with the right person they are also very submissive and look for the guidance, control and discipline that that ONE person can give to them and that is exactly how they want it to be. It is important to them to give that control over when they are able. I fall into this category. I am not less because of it. Perhaps I am more because of it. I can swing between the worlds of having to be in control, in charge, capable and strong, and can give it up to my Top and relax and say OK you are in charge now not me. Thank goodness.
There are other women who are strong and capable and in their own right they are the Tops/Doms in the female world without a submissive bone in their bodies which is a good thing for those male bottoms out there that want the guidance, control and displine of a strong women. Even those women who are not Tops/Doms are still strong and capable, in control and in charge type women.
The world has forced the women whether she wanted to or not to come forward and leave the June and Ward Cleaver dimension behind. I don't think that is a bad thing. I just am glad that I can and I do enjoy both the roles as the need arises.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Bottombandit
New member
Username: Bottombandit
Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 03:51 pm: |
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Interesting to read for sure. Quite the original post and questions. Likely it would take many pages to answer since every relationship is different. All we can say is how it works for "us".
1. What is it about spanking that turns men on?
a) When I am the giver, it’s my wife’s desire and arousal that gets my tail twitching. As the receiver, well I would say the same things that you feel, I do also.
2. What kind of scenarios do men like? Do most role-play, or simply do the scolding/stern voice bit? And what kind of responses do they like most, submissive and obedient, or bratty? Do most men like OTK, or different positions?
A) Any kind. Our fantasy's change. In my world role playing or just plain foreplay is what its all about. It’s all based on pleasure. When I play the top, I like her submissive, and vise versa. I do not prefer OTK either way.
3.Is it the feeling of power and dominance that makes a spanking fulfilling for the male partner? Does he like thinking that he's "helping" her by correcting bad behavior? Does he enjoy her bratting him, or just put up with it? Why do some men put a lot of time and effort into learning how to spank well and do all the rest, and some just figure that if she's sore afterwards they've done their job?
c) For me its not the feeling of dominance, its the feeling if satisfying here desires and taking her higher sexually. When she acts bratty it tells me what she wants and is in the mood for. Some men care about making women happy. Knowledge is that key and tuning into her body and its responses makes him turned on as well.
We attempt to separate play from real life. There I find it much more fun to just go side by side.
Hope this helps. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 445
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 03:54 pm: |
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Good discussion! I, for one, am very glad to have the diversity of spankos on this site that we do and I enjoy hearing the differing opinions. 
Ftop, don't worry, we didn't think you sounded like you were trying to flame, you're just candidly stating your opinion. That's what discussion boards are all about. We're just glad you kept it civil. |
Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 39
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 08:53 pm: |
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Beachley, you sure sound like you have a great sense of self, as well as, of others around you.
Just to clarify though, I wanted my posted response to touch on the implication the poster made that "dominance" was somehow a "masculine" trait, and women that enjoyed spanking (or those that were submissive), were "feminine." Which could suggest then, that I, as a FemTop, would somehow lack femininity, and my more than aptly strong and intelligent male sub/bottoms were somehow emasculated by their own position, or just by getting spanked.
I understand the dynamic of a male dominant relationship, but I don't characterize the sexes the way the previous poster did. I try not to generalize, even though I may find myself doing it now and then too.
I guess it just hit a nerve with me. Also, I didn't realize until just now that it was a month old post, I still felt the need to respond.
K |
Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 6
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 02:47 am: |
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I think we all would like to "see" in the minds and hearts of our other "halves" whether they are male or female or top or bottom or a bit of both. I know what I like and how I feel as an erotic submissive. I've been one long enough to have even figured out most of the why's. What fascinated me about this discussion is viewing the other side. It can be extremely hard to articulate what it is that arouses us. Especially as this (our mutual quirk for liking/wanting spankings) isn't as socially accepted as an expression of our sexuality. It is often judged harshly even by some of us that indulge in it. Sometimes our respective partners aren't the best comunicators so hearing what other's feel and think might help us meet an unexpressed need. So once again thank-you all for your postings and I'm looking forward to more. I actually used these postings as an opening for a conversation with my "top" and gained some insights into his "why's". |
Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 41
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 10:10 am: |
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From Poofette: "Sometimes our respective partners aren't the best comunicators so hearing what other's feel and think might help us meet an unexpressed need. So once again thank-you all for your postings and I'm looking forward to more. I actually used these postings as an opening for a conversation with my "top" and gained some insights into his "why's"."
I agree, with understanding the perspective of others, and Message Forums are a good way to 'hear' the other side.
I can freely admit that most of the useful information that I've attained, has been from submissive/bottoms, that were kind enough to open up on their feelings. I can learn techniques/methods from other Tops, but the "why's," as Poofette said, is really only learned from those on the 'other' side of the spectrum.
I so appreciate people being open enough to share their experience and thoughts so openly.
My thanks too!
K |
Naughtybry
New member
Username: Naughtybry
Post Number: 2
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 22, 2005 - 01:35 pm: |
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As for what gives me the feelings when I'm giving a spanking, it the feeling that she is giving her self to me completely, by that I mean, trust, respect, and that bond the comes from the feelings through out a spanking. I also enjoy bring the girl to the place she wants to go. I feel the same thing on the receiving end, and really try to trust the girl spanking me to do the best she can, and not leave me dissapointed and unfulfilled, it's a very comforted feeling to be spanked to the point that I relax, stop fighting it, and then go through the, I guess you called it the cool down part. |
Fireman_chris
New member
Username: Fireman_chris
Post Number: 2
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 28, 2005 - 08:06 pm: |
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I enjoy it on several different levels. From a strictly physical aspect, I've always been a "butt man", so have a bare tush over my lap is definitely nice. :D I enjoy the sights, sounds and feel of giving a good spanking. On the mental side, I do suppose there's some level of feeling "in control" that I enjoy, but that's more secondary for me. I'm not really a dom, so to speak, though my wife and I do have some degree of D/s in our relationship. I honestly prefer spanking a "willing" recipient to an "unwilling" one. I'm not talking about consent...that's a given. What I mean is that I'm happier spanking someone who outwardly wants the spanking as opposed to someone who fights it (even though the want it). I understand why some people like that, and I don't mind a bit of playful protesting in a scene (or the occasional role-play where protesting is part of it), but in general I prefer the playful kind of spanking.
As far as scenes, along that same vein, its more just spanking for spanking's sake. My wife and I have tried role-play a couple of times and it doesn't really work for us. I've role-played with others and enjoyed it (and tended to want it more when I was younger), but its not really big on my list anymore.
As far as discipline goes, my wife and I do engage in that a bit too, and I've had disciplinary relationships with others as well. With my wife, its rare though, mainly because she's just too darn well-behaved, and when she isn't, its usually because she's trying to goad me into spanking her. :D There are a few things that'll earn her a spanking, mostly things we've argued about in the past and decided are "spankable" offenses.
As you slide down the banisters of life
may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Old Irish Proverb
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Fireman_chris
New member
Username: Fireman_chris
Post Number: 3
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 28, 2005 - 08:10 pm: |
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Forgot to mention positions...
My favorite is sitting on the couch or the edge of a bed with my wife across my lap. On the bed, I'll also occasionally have her over my left leg with her feet on the floor, but upper body on the bed.
I also like bent over something, like the end of the bed or the arm of a couch, but only for certain implements.
As you slide down the banisters of life
may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Old Irish Proverb
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Lash_le_roux
New member
Username: Lash_le_roux
Post Number: 27
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 01, 2005 - 04:31 am: |
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While I have no objection to a lady simply throwing herself across my lap for a spanking, I have the most fun when the lady in question gives me a "reason" to spank her. The reason could be one of many: a smart mouth or attitude, an action that I've warned her in the past will provoke a paddling, general bratty behavior, etc.
Once "Her Ladyship" had done something to "earn" herself a spanking, I enjoy taking her across my lap, then applying spanks to each layer of clothing, removing each layer to expose the next one, and so on until none remain. By then she is pretty well warmed up and ready for the serious action to begin.
At this point, the height of my enjoyment is the sight of her beautiful bare bottom squirming and wriggling on my lap, gradually turning to a flaming pink as the spanks are applied, first with my hand, then with the various implements I have at my disposal. I also enjoy the sight of arms flailing and legs kicking, as well as the sound hand/implement smacking bare female flesh and yelps galore, even if only window dressing.
I particularly enjoy role-playing. My favorite scenario is teacher/student, where the female "student" has been naughty in class. I keep her after class for some "private instruction" — a spirited discussion between my hand (aided by several implements) and her bare behind. This game never gets old!
Lash Le Roux 
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. — Dr. Seuss
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1609
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 01, 2005 - 09:46 am: |
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Well, Lash has finally spoken up again! You do have a way with words, and I like your style.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Callipyjean
New member
Username: Callipyjean
Post Number: 2
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, November 03, 2005 - 11:04 pm: |
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Lash, you touch on a questions I have wondered about. Do you guys prefer a submissive bottom, who loves it and does as she's told, or a bratty bottom who loves it, but is defiant for fun? |
Bigfoot1408
Junior Spanko
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 80
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 04, 2005 - 08:59 am: |
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i like a bottom who is defiant and bratty but loves the spankings... fortunately i have found one of these critters...... |
Ziggy
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ziggy
Post Number: 883
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 04, 2005 - 10:00 am: |
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I am a sub that could go for along time not getting trouble, but when I did I was in a whole big mess. I have a nasty attitude problem and an anger one also. those two can get in the fire. But I also loved the attention and the spanking that can along with it. |
Lash_le_roux
New member
Username: Lash_le_roux
Post Number: 39
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, November 06, 2005 - 08:38 pm: |
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quote:Do you guys prefer a submissive bottom, who loves it and does as she's told, or a bratty bottom who loves it, but is defiant for fun?
I prefer a bratty bottom who is defiant for fun, as long as she doesn't push the envelope too far. As I've said other places, I'm into spanking — not extreme sports!
Lash 
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. — Dr. Seuss
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Babyj
Spanko
Username: Babyj
Post Number: 284
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, November 06, 2005 - 08:39 pm: |
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keep it interesting girls like I do
right lash? |
Wuqi
New member
Username: Wuqi
Post Number: 6
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, November 06, 2005 - 09:07 pm: |
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I asked my husband. He told me that he did not know why spanking turned him on. He admitted that the thought of spanking a girl has caused him to get erect ever since he was a teenager, and he just accepts that it is very erotic. He does not particularly want to hurt or punish, but actually hitting a bare female bottom, either with his hand or with a cane, is very erotic to him, and he loves it.
So there is what I call an honest answer. |
Sdhrts
Junior Spanko
Username: Sdhrts
Post Number: 60
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 09, 2005 - 12:19 am: |
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Well Wolfi, speaking for myself, having a woman across my lap I'm staring at a wonderful part of her anatomy to begin with. Your bottoms look even better while turning redder. The squirming, legs swinging, arm reaching back? These all add to what turns me on. This, again for me, is such a form of foreplay that while spanking I'm also aware of how hot the spankee is getting. My attempts to get her to orgasm probably include making sure she's rubbing the right part of her body on my knee. If she doesn't achieve orgasm, I know how hot she'll be soon after. This wouldn't turn ANY man on why?
Is IT Better To Give Than To Recieve?
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Spankedcrewe
New member
Username: Spankedcrewe
Post Number: 4
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 12, 2005 - 09:57 am: |
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Might I make my comments as a new member.
Our ritual is for me to ask to be thrashed and when my wife is ready she tells me usually to complete some chore or fetch her a drink etc and adds then get upstairs and get ready for me. This brings great anticipation and excitement to me and I eagerly do the task before going upstairs. i strip naked and lay out the canes and paddles. Wife comes up after about 5-15 minutes (likes to make me wait) and then tells me to "Bend over" the thrashing then takes place.
For me I love the handing over of authority to my wife and she being in total control. |
Redhinney
Junior Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 68
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 12, 2005 - 10:45 am: |
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I aksed W what it is about spanking me that he loves. His take is the feeling of respect and control that it givesd he. He also stated that for a women of conseting age to be spanked takes alot of courage and self assurances. even with me be soemwhat of a sub he likes it better when I am somewaht of a brat which is very easy for me becasue my mouth and temper (I am a true red hair and have the temper to match) some how get in my way. Our very first discpline spanking was over my temper and his sister. I might have won the battle but he definetly won the war on that one.
W being a big man would automaticly control a situtation so I don't think it is only about control but more of a feeling to be needed. Him being needed to stop something in the bud. At least that is waht I got from his explaination |
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