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Caridee
Spanko
Username: Caridee
Post Number: 17
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, January 24, 2008 - 06:19 am: | 
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From what I have read in several discussions, many of us are getting spanked as punishment beside the erotic or 'gentle' ones. And we agree to it (I hope!). But why do wo agree to it? Would we accept spanking in other situations? If we did something wrong at work that could lead to loosing the job, would we accept a spanking instead of loosing the job for example? Could spanking be a punishment option in general, (e.g. choosing being caned 10 times instead of a fine or similar..). This is something I have started to think about quite recently. Anyone else? |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2470
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 24, 2008 - 03:04 pm: |
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For me...and this is just me....
I get spanked at home. I have an agreement with my husband and we have what we call a "lifestyle".
I trust him completly.
I wouldn't trust a cop or a boss to spank me for messing up.
Trust is foremost for me. I can't live this life I live without it.
We live a sort of D/d lifestyle. Not 24/7 we have real lives....but spanking is part of our lives. We do sometimes practice erotic spanking.
This is between us and not anyone else.
I agree to it because this is what I want and need in my PRIVATE life. I don't feel I need this in every aspect of my life.
I got a speeding ticket not long ago and it was $104.00!!! I almost fainted at that!! I wasn't going that fast!!
IF I could have foregone the fine for a spanking from my husband....YES I would do that....as it is I got one from him anyway...and still had to pay the fine.
I wouldn't let a police man spank me to forgo a fine.
Spanking to my husband and me has a sexual quality to it even if we don't have sex afterward...and we would both consider it VERY WRONG to let someone else spank me.
Like I said this is just me....and how I feel about it.
(Message edited by tammynx on August 21, 2008) |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1776
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 24, 2008 - 03:26 pm: |
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Caridee, I don't think trying to discuss accepting a spanking outside of a lifestyle choice is a topic for our forum. The situations you describe, on the job or as the result of a crime, aren't fair comparisons. In reality, those options aren't going to be offered and if they are, something has gone terribly wrong.
If an employee offered to spank an employee it would be considered assault and therefore is illegal. Even if the person "agreed" to it since there is the threat of losing their job, it's coercion. And I don't even want to get us started on judicial canings.
It's one thing to enter into a disciplinary relationship with someone you trust, it's something else entirely to be forced into one by means of coercion. It then becomes non-consensual and that's not a topic for our forum.
Please be aware that we only want to discuss real-life situations here where the spankings occur between consenting adults. Just because someone consents to spanking in their relationship doens't mean they'll consent to just letting anyone spank them. I know that's a great fantasy and the plot for many a spanking movie, but we're discussing real-life situations here.
For those of us in consensual discipline relationships, we have chosen our disciplinarian and given our consent before entering into that type of relationship. We each do it for our own personal reasons and we do it on our own terms.
For some of us it's only one aspect of our lifestyle, for others it's the only part they're interested in. Some of us can only have one disciplinarian and it has to be our domestic partner, others have disciplinarians who aren't their primary partner and others have more than one disciplinarian.
What about you? Why do you do it? |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 2058
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 24, 2008 - 03:33 pm: |
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For me...I just like to be spanked.
I would NEVER accept a spanking from anyone else but my husband...EVER.
Not real life or cyber.
I consent to him and him alone.
The other situations you describe I have read about in spanking stories but to have any of those come up in real life would cause nothing but trouble.
I think those kind of situations are for fantasy only.
And that is just my opinion.
Paddle Faster!!!! I hear Banjos!!!
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Caridee
Spanko
Username: Caridee
Post Number: 18
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, January 24, 2008 - 03:53 pm: |
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I agree with all of you and I work the same way. I only trust my boyfriend to spank me, also punishment spankings (although I always get very nervous and a bit scared when I know it's time for a hard spanking). I asked the question because lately I've started to wonder about how it could be outside our relationship. I just want to point out that when I described my examples, I looked at the alternatives as optional choice of punishment. For example, If I got a speed ticket, the choice between paying the fine or a spanking would be my own and not someone else. I didn't mean to describe situations where you would be 'sentenced to spanking', rather your own optional choice. Just been playing with the thoughts. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3417
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 24, 2008 - 03:59 pm: |
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I am into many types of spanking, but am in no way into non-censensual spanking. I would have to question anyone in authority's "offer" to spank. Spanking is a very intimate decision. I am one who has received spankings by different men in my lifetime, but it was always from someone I had a relationship with. This is not to say that one cannot benefit from having a disciplinarian, but again that would be a disciplinary relationship, not from a stranger.
As Bethie clearly stated, fantasy is one thing, but The Den is here for people who are into consensual spankings.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Rex138
Spanko
Username: Rex138
Post Number: 73
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 - 12:31 am: |
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Hi All,
I subject myself to punishment spankings because I like being accountable for what I do. I agree that trust is key. I also feel so much more balanced after a good spanking that it makes me more amiable. 
"It seemed like a good idea at the time."
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Sexylegsvickie
New member
Username: Sexylegsvickie
Post Number: 6
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 03, 2008 - 02:36 pm: |
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I hope people don't mind if I am bumping up this old post, but I am new here and this is something I want to weigh in on.
I accept punishment spankings from my partner because I know I have done something wrong, something that has upset or hurt her(see my post in Real Life story section about my first from her).And only 2 things earn a punishment spanking. Untruthfulness and major irresponsible or inconsiderate to others behavior.
I did not have a lot of accountability for my behavior in my life before I met her 5 years ago and to put it frankly often could be a spoiled,self-centered brat.
When I get a punishment spanking I know I have hurt someone I love and care about. The old line about "its going to hurt me more than it hurts you" is sort of true. I have hurt or upset her by an act of mine, I feel guilty, and a sore bottom is the price I pay.
And I have gotten fewer of those spankings the last couple years. First couple years we were together I seemed to get one every couple or 3 months. The past year or two once or twice a year.
It has been a matter of learning to care about the other person in a relationship. The disappointment in her eyes when I let her down is worse than the pain in my bottom.
I really don't think we'd still be together if she did not spank. I am not saying this would be right for everyone, but I think it has made me a better , more mature person.
I know she still loves me even when she is paddling away. That is why I accept it. |
Batfinch
Spanko
Username: Batfinch
Post Number: 16
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, August 10, 2008 - 09:45 am: |
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Accountability and clearing the air are good reasons for having punishment spankings within ones own home |
Lovinglife
New member
Username: Lovinglife
Post Number: 3
Registered: 08-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 10, 2008 - 11:15 pm: |
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I accepted it because he loves me and when you do something foolish and down right stupid or dangerous, it helps to make the guilt go away and as a clear reminder...but overall, because he loves me and chose to give it. |
Spoiltbrat
New member
Username: Spoiltbrat
Post Number: 6
Registered: 08-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 - 01:38 pm: |
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If you are in a DD relationship,
and have broken rules given by your Dom
you have to accept that you will be disciplined .. end of !!
if you dont accept ... whats the point of living a DD lifestyle
as for accepting a spanking from a third party .. no way , my husband is the only one with the right to spank me
susie x
(Message edited by spoiltbrat on August 20, 2008) |
Maren_s
Spanko
Username: Maren_s
Post Number: 16
Registered: 08-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 01:36 am: |
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Before I was married, I played the spanking field quite excessively. I advertised for partners in a spanking magazine as a present to myself when I became an adult. I considered none of the men that I saw as a means of anything other than a way to a hot bottom. They weren't any of them my boyfriends, and there was no sex involved although the act was extremely sexual in and of itself.
Since I've been married, however, it's just the hubby. Being spanked, whether for erotic or punishment purposes, is too closely akin to sex. I would not allow myself to be spanked by a boss, or other in-law/family member, any more than I would engage in any other sexual act. Those kind of scenes work well in fantasy and adult stories, but not so well in real life.
That said, I will admit that a few years back when my husband dislocated his spanking arm, he advertised for and found a substitute disciplinarian for me. While I would have been happy as a clam to wait for the hubby to heal, apparently the two of them put it to a vote and I lost. Any time the hubby felt I needed 'taking care of' he called up this other fellow. I submitted to him, usually with my husband in the same room, because that was in effect me submitting to my husband.
Yes, it did feel very, very odd.
(Message edited by maren_s on August 27, 2008) |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3549
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 02:41 pm: |
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Maren, whatever works for someone, works. I'm glad you found a solution to your problem. We have all types of personalities here in the Den, and support each and every lifestyle (within consent) 
And odd?.......maybe it is not so bad. 
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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