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Tamedshrew
New member
Username: Tamedshrew
Post Number: 12
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 08:43 am: | 
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How do you guys refer to yourselves? Top/bottom, dom/sub, etc.? So far we like top (him) and bottom (me). This works especially well since bottom is of course my biggest erogenous zone anyway |
Smack121
New member
Username: Smack121
Post Number: 3
Registered: 02-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 06:56 pm: |
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i am a dom my gf is sub we have lots of fun spanking |
Whipped5
New member
Username: Whipped5
Post Number: 2
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, February 23, 2008 - 09:50 am: |
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I am bottom, my gf is dom, she uses one of our belts on me and it is OK.
Sweet Kiss of the LEATHER BELT!
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Petergrimm
Spanko
Username: Petergrimm
Post Number: 81
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, February 23, 2008 - 09:53 pm: |
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Names and the resultant pigeon holes can be a problem, especially if what you mean when you use a name is not what I mean when I use it. And neither us meant what Whipped5 means. ("my gf is dom" for example - Usually Domme is used for a female dominant but not always, particularly if she assumes "male" attitudes or dress when dominating someone. Now is Whipped5 invoking this connotation or is he simply taking a short cut as for "gf" and dropping a couple of redundant characters and the sometimes annoying capitalisation Some/some insist on? It is not an issue either way and no offense meant to Whipped5, but names can be tricky!)
So for me "Dom" and "sub" say more about an attitude and how each partner affects the decision making process rather than the action each is engaged in, while Top and bottom is more who is giving and who is receiving during an specific action.
So I consider myself a Dom, my wife is a sub.
BUT - During an erotic spanking I may Top her or I may have her Top me, since I like being spanked about as much as giving a spanking - which also means I "switch" If you check my profile I simplify and refer to myself as a "switch" 'cause this gets complicated.
I stay at home and mostly take care of domestic chores since I retired while she is a full time professional with a demanding career that requires her to be very much in control and dominant.
So how am I the Dom and she the sub? You might note in the "BUT" paragraph the words "I may have her Top me" This implies somewhat I determined the result - that I control who is topping whom. And that supposedly makes me the Dom and she, who is willing to ceed this control gracefully, submitts and does as I ask, thoroughly walloping my ass...
In our private life one of us, "Me" makes the decisions and the other, "her" tells me what that decision will be, politely, with deference, and usually indirectly. I am poking fun here but there is more truth to this than fiction as anyone in a serious D/s relationship will atest. Dom does not mean all powerful and submission is not being a doormat or without influence, but Dom and sub do mean some sort of power exchange is going on beyond who is actually walloping whom....
Now those that take D/s to an extreme will often switch to Master/slave where there are now connotations of ownership and a total loss of decision influence on the one side. Hell, who knows maybe it even works that way for some, but I am pretty sure that if the Great Decissimo wants a lasting happy relationship with said slave he will devine the correct decision most of the time, and invoke his inalienable right to change his mind whenever it becomes evident he screwed it up.
Other terms in common usage - spanker/spankee - though this always brings sailing boats and their crew to my mind. "Grand Poobah" and "cunt" over at kaya's (maybe not so common, kaya and Scott are anything but common LOL.) Someone here has a dearly beloved know simply as "The Boss" though I am not privy to what be calls bethie.
And there is nothing stopping you from coming up with new titles, and like Humpty-Dumpty, have them mean anything you like, they are your words afterall.
Regards,
Peter |
Whipped5
New member
Username: Whipped5
Post Number: 5
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, February 24, 2008 - 05:40 pm: |
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Hi Peter,}
}I read your post of Feb 23,2008 and I am sorry that I don't know what you wanted to say.
Are you going to create new theory about spanking or just you had told what you knew?
Or do you want discover "another America?"
I am sorry but you used my name in your e-mail so you do expect my answer.
What may be my advice - maybe you are doing good but first you should read carefully what others members say, and then you may be very smart.}
Sweet Kiss of the LEATHER BELT!
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2506
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, February 24, 2008 - 07:16 pm: |
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Peter is right about names having many meanings and most are different for different people.
When I see the word Dom I expect it to be capitilized...thats just me... and I think a Dom is a male...again that is just what I think when I see the name.
Just like sub is not capitalized...sub to me can be either female or male.
Top/bottom....is probably easier for most people to use...it does't have the male/female meaning to me . (and that is just me).
My husband calls me by name and I do the same....
If asked I would say he is the Dom and I the sub..BUT....keep in mind the words may have a differnt meaning to me than they do to anyone else reading this. |
Petergrimm
Spanko
Username: Petergrimm
Post Number: 82
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, February 24, 2008 - 08:45 pm: |
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Whipped5, I sense you were offended by my 02/28 post. As stated in the post I did not intend any offense and I sincerely apologize if you found what what said hurtful.
My apologies to Tamedshrew as well for destroying her thread, tghose this does reinforce the point that names can be a minefield.
Peter |
Whipped5
New member
Username: Whipped5
Post Number: 6
Registered: 01-2008
| | Posted on Monday, February 25, 2008 - 02:11 pm: |
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Hi Petergrimm,
I am sorry, I misunderstood your text so please forget it if you can, what I wrote yesterday to you. Sorry,
Whipped5
Sweet Kiss of the LEATHER BELT!
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Ruinae8
Spanko
Username: Ruinae8
Post Number: 27
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Monday, February 25, 2008 - 05:45 pm: |
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As far as I can understand about the whole thing names are just exactly that - what works for you works for you and not necessarily anyone else - but I must admit it does begin to get a bit confusing if both of you are "switch" - but what a lovely confusing situation to sort out!!MMM! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3448
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 25, 2008 - 05:56 pm: |
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We have so many names and labels attached to us in all aspects of life. I don't label myself in my spanking life except to admit I am a spankee. My spanker is my husband, lover, darling prince, ducky, butchy boy, etcerta, depending of course on my mood! 
This is a very good discussion question though.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Bratattitude
Advanced Spanko
Username: Bratattitude
Post Number: 126
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 07:03 pm: |
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My husband is def the domin our relationship but we really do not use D/S titles for one another other than if someone were to ask who is who in the relationship. We actaully come across very equal in "real" life. We work hard, play hard, love hard and have a great family bond with our kids, nieces, nephew, etc.
Of course there are some names I CAN call him and they guarntee i will be pver his lap before bedtime  |
Laszlo
Spanko
Username: Laszlo
Post Number: 122
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - 12:26 am: |
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such lovely nerve endings are in the bottom, as to top or master it differs for each relationship, for me a spanking is the ultimate sexual act |
Buenaventura
Supreme Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 847
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - 03:04 pm: |
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What,s in a name??? |
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