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Kano
New member
Username: Kano
Post Number: 2
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, March 09, 2008 - 03:13 pm: | 
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all of my life I have thought about being spanked, lately the desire has become more of a need. Even though my husband and I lead seperate lives and do our own thing,he is still my best friend, and there is no one I trust more then him.
So I wrote him a letter and asked him what he thought about forfilling this need of mine. He didn't need to think about it long and said he was sure he could do that for me.
Because our adult children do live with us and we are raising our grandaughter we decided to keep the decision to ourselves, and take care of this one the weekends when the baby is visiting with her aunt and all the kids are out visiting their signifagant others.
I have become very aware of my bottom and my thoughts go from one extreem to another. One minute I want to be spanked, and I have no idea how to say so or just dont have the nut to say anything, or even worse something comes up and one of our children is home so there is nothing we can do even if we wanted to.
Then I go to thinking no way I don't want to be spanked,it's going to hurt, what if I don't like it? and I end up feeling like a little girl antisopating a spanking lol
which I have to say is a great feeling antisopation, is a wonderful thing.
anyways here's my problame, I need to know how to get through these mixed feelings so I can stop denying myself what I really need.
(Message edited by Bethie on March 09, 2008)
remember even though you are behind a computer the people you talk to are real people with real feeings thoughts hopes and dreams, don't mess with their heads
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Laszlo
Spanko
Username: Laszlo
Post Number: 139
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, March 09, 2008 - 09:04 pm: |
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wow, thats a tall order, there are people here who are better qualified to answer this than i am, i <NO UNDERAGE REFERENCES)like a terrible freak, first off you are not alone in this there are many of us out here, there is absolutely no reason to be uncomfortable with your desires, second i reccomend a safe word especailly if its your first time, again don't feel alone my dear as there are many people who have lived this lifestyle for a very long time who have all kinds of great advice, good luck my dear
(Message edited by fanny on March 10, 2008) |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3454
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 10, 2008 - 11:50 pm: |
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ALL MEMBERS please pay attention. I will be the first to admit that I am very grumpy and in pain from surgery on Friday.
For those of you new to the Den, I am fighting an incurable cancer and I come here to get away from the real world for a bit and to share some comradary with others who enjoy the lifestyle.
That said, I feel like my moderation role is becoming a baby-sitting postition. It is extremely important for all site rules to be read before any posting is done. For instance, nearly every day a post has to be edited for underage references, including both of the ones above. The "Meet and Greet area is for introductions, not for advertising, looking for partners or trying to start cyber play.
If you are mature enough to join and post in an adult forum, please be mature enough to read the protocol.
The forum belongs to Bethie, not me, but I'm sure most of us would agree that we would all have a more enjoyable time, if posters would simply follow the rules.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Laszlo
Spanko
Username: Laszlo
Post Number: 141
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 03:05 am: |
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i apologise if i have offended, i have recently reread the rules and intend to abide by them,im really not such a bad guy you will find |
Kano
New member
Username: Kano
Post Number: 3
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 11:18 am: |
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Sorry won't happen again I thought it would be okay since it is part of the issue
but I will see that it does not happen again
remember even though you are behind a computer the people you talk to are real people with real feeings thoughts hopes and dreams, don't mess with their heads
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3455
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 12:27 pm: |
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I apologize for coming down so hard on issues lately, but underage discussion is never "part of any issue here."
I am not jumping on you, Kano, as this is an ongoing problem. I cannot tell you how many times I have done a direct cut and paste on this.
"As far as content is concerned, be very aware of the following rule. Please do not post anything involving anyone under the age of 18. Content refers to anything posted on this forum by the members, both the written word and images.....
While I understand that some of you may want to reminisce about your childhood experiences, please don't. This is an adult forum and we have to keep all discussions here about adults. Also, someone could use this excuse to get around the over 18 rule. Sorry, but we cannot have any leniency on this one."
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Weasel
Advanced Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 333
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 01:00 pm: |
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Kano, you've already brought it up to your husband, he agreed to spank you! The hard part's over. Come up with a "safe word" or phrase so that if you want him to stop NOW, you blurt it out, he stops. Simple as that. Make your safe word/phrase something you wouldn't normally say in bed (picklejuice, redlight, rumplestilstskin.
Hubby is probably as unsure of the grounds here as you are, so chances are he won't start out spanking you too hard. There are tons of spanking "how-to's" on the web, hit your favorite search engine and type in "spanking how-to" or "spanking tutorial" or try variations on "new to spanking" - and see what comes up.
You could of course give him an "I've been a bad girl" list of transgressions you think you should be spanked for, and rate them light, medium, hard... and then when you want or need a spanking, break a rule, then come clean to him that you broke a rule! He can refer to the list and go from there. You can work this around the hectic pace of your home so when the family's gone out you can tell him "Honey, I've been bad, I fudged on my diet and ate a candy bar today!" (or whatever...) He can get very stern, refer to the list, and punish you accordingly.
Of course the den here is a great place to start, lots of people willing to offer encouragement but as you've seen, we need to keep it all about adult and consensual spankings.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Laszlo
Spanko
Username: Laszlo
Post Number: 143
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 10:18 pm: |
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i don't know if anyone shares my view on this matter but believe that as a top it is my duty to make sure that my spankee has as much fun getting spanked as i do in spanking them, i have had the opportunity to give several "first spankings" and i was honored that i was given this gift and it was my responsibility to make sure that my spankee got as much out of that first spanking as possible |
Blushingbride
Advanced Spanko
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 151
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 - 07:04 am: |
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As Weasel said - you are already past the hardest part, telling your husband for the first time. I will also echo about the need for a safe word.
As for trying to cope with the mixed feelings about craving a spankign and feeling apprehensive, reluctant and nervous about one... that seems pretty normal to me. I usually am longing for one when I'm not being spanked but then when I know a spanking is looming, I feel all butterflies and nervous and yet still excited about it as well. There really isn't anything wrong with that unless you are feeling truely frightened - then you need to look at whether or not this is something you want in your life or just something you fantasize about but don't enjoy in reality.
Good luck and enjoy the ride.
Life is short. Eat dessert first.
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Laszlo
Spanko
Username: Laszlo
Post Number: 144
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 - 11:01 pm: |
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for some of us the anticipation is part of the fun, i love to give brief cornertime before a spanking so that the spankee in question can contemplate and look forward to what is about to happen |
Neoserenity87
Advanced Spanko
Username: Neoserenity87
Post Number: 314
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, March 23, 2008 - 07:01 am: |
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Kano, your feelings seem quite normal to me. I myself am still quite new to spanking and still figuring out what works and what doesn't. Most of the time when I tell a guy for the first time that I like to be spanked he can't get enough of it! I can't stress enough though, that if you really are concerned about pain, establish a safe word. I definitly can relate to the mixed feelings you are expressing. When I had my very first spanking I actually fought my boyfriend! But now I can't get enough of it! Just take things slowly and have fun with it! Hope this helps.
-Neo
Naughty little soldiers are always caught shaking in their combat boots.
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