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Message |
    
Lovinglife
New member
Username: Lovinglife
Post Number: 14
Registered: 08-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2008 - 03:06 am: | 
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So my boyfriend and I are fairly new to spanking, I am the one who introduced it and he has been fairly receptive after we moved through the major issue that he didn't want to hurt me. We mostly deal in erotic spanking, but I have received a couple punishment spankings...I know this has been presented before, I'm just not finding it, so I'm sorry if you have answered this before, but the problem I am having is asking for I guess what you would call maintenance spankings. Lately I've been super stressed with the end of a semester, family issues and other responsibilities and I am beginning to crack. My back problems are acting up again and I'm losing sleep, I'm falling behind in the duties I do have which is adding unnecessary stress. I'm still embarrassed to ask for a spanking in this context, it's easy if it's all in good fun, but something more serious is...difficult...any suggestions? Thanks! |
Honeybun
New member
Username: Honeybun
Post Number: 9
Registered: 12-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2008 - 11:37 am: |
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That's exactly my situation, almost exactly. It's really hard to ask for it, and i just recently realized that that's what i have to do. i'm just going to have to go up to him and say "i'm really tense and i'm taking it out on you and other people i love. i need a spanking."
i'm sure he'll be happy to oblige. :]
haha, i actually told him last time that he should set a goal for himself; he should try to make my whole butt an even shade of bright red, like art. He veritably loved that idea.
So yeah, i'd suggest just talking to him, or, if that's too hard, write him a little letter explaining to him what you just said to us, and then burn it together afterwards.
Good luck! |
Wtrlile177
New member
Username: Wtrlile177
Post Number: 12
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2008 - 09:15 pm: |
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Hmm...my situation too! It's crazy how hard it is to just buck up and say, please spank me. but it sure is hard! We all want them to just read our minds, for them to magically know when we want/need it, but thats a pretty unrealistic expectation huh?
I think I will try to ask. Soon. As soon as I can get up the nerve.  |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3619
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2008 - 12:08 am: |
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I have a question for you Wtrlile. How does your boyfriend feel about spanking? Are they are stress release for him too? My husband gets a great tension release when he spanks me, so it works for both out benefits.
Possibly you should ask him how spanking you makes him feel. If he more relaxed afterwards? I spoke with my husband about it years ago, it really isn't akward once you get into the discussion. (It may help if you start the discussion during a massage etc)
The first time after that discussion when we were both a bit overwhelmed, I brought him a hairbrush and said maybe we both needed to release some stress. I laughingly said he could use it on whichever end of me that would do the most good. I do love having my hair brushed. 
Anyway, it broke the tension and I told him it was quite all right with me if he had a rough day and needed to destress as needed. It helps a lot if both of you appreciate the calm after the storm of a spanking.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Wtrlile177
New member
Username: Wtrlile177
Post Number: 14
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2008 - 11:20 am: |
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That's a good question...and I don't know. I wish it made him feel more relaxed...but the way he avoids doing it I'm not so sure. I would think that if it was a stress relief for him he would initiate it more often. I am concerned that he doesn't see it as a release but more of a chore or something that just I like...but my husband is so stressed with school and all right now, I would love to be able to give him a stress relief, like you said that would benefit us both! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3620
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2008 - 06:35 pm: |
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If you don't know, then I would suggest it is time to ask. 
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tawseman
Spanko
Username: Tawseman
Post Number: 39
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2008 - 11:26 pm: |
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Perhaps if the need for maintenance spankings were discussed in a non-spanking setting, sort of as casual conversation, you both would become more at ease with it. Casual conversation when nothing is on the line might be easier, and give him time to get used to the idea. |
Lovinglife
New member
Username: Lovinglife
Post Number: 15
Registered: 08-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, December 18, 2008 - 12:58 pm: |
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Thanks for all the suggestions! We're working on me talking to him more when things get really stressed. |
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