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Naughty_wildkat
New member
Username: Naughty_wildkat
Post Number: 3
Registered: 03-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, August 16, 2009 - 08:14 am: | 
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Chris is always troubled by this...cos he usually has a set idea on how he is going to discipline me ...from the implements he will use ...if I will have to be restrained or not...how many strokes he will give if I am to be Caned...
I class his spankings in severity - so I know what I might be in for....So when he says to me I am in for a...
.........."Thrashing" this I class as the worse type of spanking he can give me - and ones I absolutely DREAD! It will start off with a good warm up with hard hand spanking - taste of the flogger/paddle/belt/whip - so I will be ready to bend over for 6 of the BEST of the Cane (I am made to count each Cane stoke!) ...Then will have to be restrained to our bed for a damn good strapping and the he will finish my spanking with several HARD strokes with the Tawse....OUCH!OWWW!OUCH!----He has me crying and tears flowing readily in no time!...
.........."Hiding" this I class as a Moderate type spanking...it's gonna hurt but not as bad as a Thrashing...It wont last as long either ...I may or may not have to be restrained...will get a good warm up with hand spanking/belt and most often will still get a taste of the Cane but not the Tawse....Will receive a good stapping...He will bring on the tears!
.........."Good Spanking" This is as it says I will get a good spanking but not receive the cane ....will start with the warmup...a few strokes of his belt and the flogger and finish with getting several stokes of the strap...to make me feel sorry for sassing him too much during the week....
Chris HATES having to punish me and I think cos of this he sometimes gives me some leniency to what he had intended to give me for discipline....plus I think he also takes into consideration my fears and anxieties when I know I am in for it...I really do stress over knowing I am in for a punishment spanking ALL week...But Chris then feels when he does give me leniency he has failed in his duty towards me for some reason...and he gets mad with himself for it...
So my question is for everyone...
Is giving "Leniency" a great mistake when it comes to punishments/discipline? - please explain your answer...
Is it better to be harsher than too soft when a sub needs to be discipline for her misbehaviour? - please explain your answer...
Would it effect the respect she has for her Partner when he reduces the severity of her punishment? Would it make her feel unloved and/or less secure? - please explain your answer...
Would leniency encourage further misbehaviour for the same offense in the future more readily?
Do you feel - that if a Dom who truly loves his woman will err on the side of severity rather than leniency when administering discipline...cos in the long run its in the best interest of both of them for him to do so? - please explain your answer... |
Slavegirl
Spanko
Username: Slavegirl
Post Number: 27
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, August 16, 2009 - 10:44 am: |
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As a sub I always prefer stricter punishment to leniency but if my master isn't sometimes more lenient than I expect then this would take away some of the surprise from whatever he decides to do to me, if you know what I mean.
And he can be lenient and strict in different ways. For instance making me spend longer in corner time but giving me fewer strokes or using a less harsh implement. Or of course vice versa!
slavegirl |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3678
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 16, 2009 - 02:07 pm: |
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Hi wildcat. If your partner HATES (in your words) to punish you, then the spanking is not truly consensual on both sides.
I really don't think this is a question of leniency, but one on whether you are both on the same page on how you want to commit to a disciplinary relationship.
Honesty and communication are really necessary in this lifestyle, I recommend the two of you discussing exactly what you each want and expect.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Naughty_wildkat
New member
Username: Naughty_wildkat
Post Number: 4
Registered: 03-2009
| | Posted on Monday, August 17, 2009 - 12:39 am: |
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Hi Fanny...
Our spanking lifestyle is totally consensual..He would rather give erotic/play spankings than punishment ones....but wont hesitate to administer them when they are required...
I also hate receiving punishment spankings cos they really do hurt like hell! but I learn from them....just cos we dislike something doesnt mean our relationship is not consensal or one sided... |
Subbie
Advanced Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 238
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, August 17, 2009 - 06:54 am: |
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I don't believe that all punishments spankings have to follow a strict set of rules.
We do play spankings plus discipline ones, in play he will pick out what he wants to use and I might switch the bath brush for the smaller hair brush,or even add a paddle, our play spankings can sometimes wnd up being as harsh as a punishment spanking, simply based on my mood, often I will say, "green" to let Hubby know, please don't stop.
If the spanking is for discipline, then the mood before the spanking is different, I will know why I am about to be disciplined, he may pick out what he feels he wants to us, paddle, bath brush, belt, or strap etc. He never says how long or how hard it will be, by the time he stops I will be very red, very sore, sitting down will no be easy for a day or too. however if during the spanking I say the safe word, "red" the spanking stops right then,it maskes no difference if it a play spanking or one for discipline, it's over.
Some days I might be able to take more than on other days, as far as a discipline spanking goes, I have consented to take them so I am not about to stop it just as it starts to hurt, if i did that then there would be no reason to think we have a discipline type reletionship. however when it reaches a certain level then I feel it needs to stop
Hubby also knows from my tone of, "I'm sorry" if I am getting to my limit, I am sure every one has there own guide lines and also limits of dicipline they can take. also if the spanking is a rather short one then extra corner or some other non spanking punishmnt will be added on.
Even if it is a discipline spanking I do beleve it is up to my Hubby to see that it doesn't go too far. this is what works for us,
my name says it all
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3679
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 17, 2009 - 10:31 am: |
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Glad to hear it wildkat; I was just checking. We have a lot of readers here who never post, but want to learn from what is written here.
If someone really does HATE the lifestyle, they should never feel pressured by a partner. I wanted to clear that up for anyone reading who thinks they need to except punishment when it is not what they are into.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Slavegirl
Spanko
Username: Slavegirl
Post Number: 29
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Friday, August 21, 2009 - 02:19 pm: |
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Hi
To add my contribution, my master is not that strict, certainly by the standards of some of the posts on this blog.
Please don't think I am being judgemental here. It takes all sorts to make the world go round and as long as all parties agree and it doesn't affect anyone else, long live diversity.
To get back on topic because my master isn't that strict, my master isn't often lenient and when he is it is often by way of a break in the action rather than fewer or lighter strokes. So during a hand spanking he may pause. As our spankings are primarily erotic rather than punisnment, while he is waiting his hand inevitably caresses my lower back and bum and often slips between my legs. Then, my rest and his fun over, he recommences and I get as much spanking as usual, but over a longer time.
With the strap or cane it is usually the immplement itself that is used to caress my back and bum during a pause, and sometimes my private parts, though my master's hand can stray there as well.
If I am to be punished more severely than usual this is normally by harder strokes than more strokes, since more strokes just goes on for longer, whereas harder strokes sting more, both during and after punishment.
Slavegirl |
Mr_blister
New member
Username: Mr_blister
Post Number: 3
Registered: 06-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, August 22, 2009 - 01:19 pm: |
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"this is going to hurt me alot more than it's going to hurt you.."......an equalizer of which I frequently use. She is then aware that it is a necessary corrective consequence for her accountability, also to discourage any further behavior. At the same time, exhibits a level of empathy....that I am sorry for THE REASON to give the SPANKING, but not sorry for giving the SPANKING. |
Hardwood
Spanko
Username: Hardwood
Post Number: 36
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 22, 2009 - 04:38 pm: |
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My tuppence worth:
Punishment should cause a beneficial change in attitude in the penitent. Sometimes this is expressed with tears, sometimes with apologies, sometimes by submission.
I continue punishment until I get the desired result. I have no fixed number of strokes when I begin; it has happened that one is enough. It has also happened that I must go far beyond what I had planned.
I will corner before but not after punishment because I feel that a penitent must never be left alone or away from my touch after being punished.
Hw |
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