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Subbie
Advanced Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 255
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Friday, September 18, 2009 - 06:59 am: | 
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We tried out the cane just one time and it's not for me, there are better things to use, so we are going to stick what works for us, so last night it got a little chilly for the first time and after lighting up the fire place, we watched the cane go up in smoke, so I guess the story is not everything is for everybody.
my name says it all
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Tawseman
Spanko
Username: Tawseman
Post Number: 94
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Friday, September 18, 2009 - 03:59 pm: |
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What you get from a session depends on both the instrument and the technique.
With just one time, the two of you might not have had a chance to find out what works.
Certainly, a full-on caning can be a bit much starting out. My wife loves the cane, but would not like it without working up to it. |
Peachybot
Spanko
Username: Peachybot
Post Number: 17
Registered: 10-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, September 19, 2009 - 02:00 pm: |
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i agree - don't give up after one try.
next time don't actually have him strike you with it, just tease you.
he can run it over your breasts, over your bum and between your legs, then just spank or paddle you for your actual punishment, with the suggestion that he might cane you in future if you are really naughty.
that way you get a chance to acclimatise to the idea and can tell him you have been really naughty when you are ready to try it again.
another thought is you don't say why it was not for you.
he may not be hitting you in the right place.
it should be across the middle of your bum, not too low or high.
alternatively he might be using too long a cane,so it gets more momentum and bends round more of you and so hurts too much.
or your skin is too taut from touching your toes rather than holding your ankles or not bending over as far as that.
have you tried caning him by the way? my experience is men love the sharp stinging sensation that only a cane gives, particularly if combined with a gloved finger up their back passage before or after or both.
i hope you perservere. i wasn't that keen at first either as a dom or sub.
however i love it now in both roles.
either as a sub as the climax to a slow escalation from hand spanking to the paddle to a thin tawse and finally the delicious sharp, focussed sting before i'm allowed to stand up and am dismissed.
or else as a dom as a supremely targetted instrument of arousal to breasts, pussy, cock or balls and then punishment.
i'm getting moist just writing this!!!!
peachybot |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 2040
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 19, 2009 - 03:53 pm: |
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I understand, Subbie, and like you said, not everything is for everyone. Everyone is different and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another. Since you threw it on the fire, I guess it really didn't work for you! You know, we have a couple of toys that I've only dreamed of doing that to, but that's a topic for another thread. 
Since Subbie and her hubby tried the cane back in June ( thread titled "Your advice"), they've had plenty of time to think it over. I have friends who have tried the cane once and decided that the cane was an absolute hard limit despite how carefully they were led up to trying it.
Some people don't enjoy the cane for many reasons. Most of the people I know who decided against it just didn't enjoy the sensations for various reasons or had a mental wall built up about the cane that they couldn't get past. I also know some spankers who refuse to use the cane for a variety of reasons as well.
That is the reality because we're all different. Personally, I find that one of the things I enjoy most about this; the variety of spankos and their tastes. Also, there are no absolutes in this world, but it is their decision at this moment in time and we should respect that. Of course, if they do revisit the issue in the future, they'll have to go out and buy a new cane. They must really not have liked it if they burned it though.
Peachybot, great advice about the use of the cane, but I'm afraid not all of your advice will work for some of us. There is no way my Dan would ever let me use any implement on him and I wouldn't even consider trying. That is completely against both of our natures and it'll never happen...ever! I know some people say every spanker should know how every implement feels, but those people haven't met my Dan. I'll let them suggest that to him because I'm sure not going to. I appreciate your advice though, it's very helpful.
So, Subbie, now that you've said "goodbye" to the cane, is there anything new you'd like to try instead? Which reminds me, when I saw this thread was titled "Goodbye" you gave me a start; I thought you were leaving. Don't do that to me! Now go tell Hubby you deserve a spanking for scaring me.  |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3686
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 19, 2009 - 08:28 pm: |
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Bethie, I am going to back you up on this. There are impliments we have tried...loved them, hated them or were completely indifferent to them, and even re-tries didn't change our views.
My husband is exactly like Dan, we have been together decades and he has NO desire to be the bottom, and I don't have any desire to top him. We are both happy in our roles and are experienced enough with life to know what we like or don't like. It fact, if the point were pushed, I think it may be the end of that part of our relationship because it would not be consensual.
The main point here is exactly that....the activity and impliment chosen has to be consented to by both parties. If Subbie is not interested in the cane, then by all means roast marshmellows over that fire. Secondly, her name is indicative of the fact that she is not interested in being a domme.
That does not discredit anyone else's choices, thanks for the suggestions, I'm glad you enjoy them.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Peachybot
Spanko
Username: Peachybot
Post Number: 18
Registered: 10-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, September 20, 2009 - 06:31 am: |
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they were just suggestions but subsequent comments noted and absolutely agree - if it is really not for you and your partner, then it is not for you.
we are all different.
peachybot |
Subbie
Advanced Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 256
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, September 20, 2009 - 06:34 pm: |
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thanks everyone for your great comments, No, I am not leaving, so Bethie I'll tell Hubby to give me a few extra for scaring you.
When we tried out the cane, I got a warm up as is our normal thing. with all that I have heard about the cane, such as 6 of the best, we wanted to give it a go, what I didn't like is that being rather narrow when compared to the strap all the force hits in a very samll area where the strap is a lot wider and the force is spread out over a larger area of my bottom. it hurts but doesn't leave the marks that the cane did, as well as the time it took for the stripes to fade away.
But to each their own and nothing ventured nothing gained, but I did smile as I watched it go up in smoke.
my name says it all
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 2041
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 20, 2009 - 10:49 pm: |
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Hey, you gave the cane a try at least! Spanko experimentation can be fun and educational, you know.
The marks that a rattan cane leaves are my biggest gripe about it btw. I know, strange, but true.
Subbie said, "I did smile as I watched it go up in smoke."
Hey, I'd smile too if one of my hated toys were to go up in smoke! I doubt it will ever happen for me, but a girl can dream... |
Sexylegsvickie
New member
Username: Sexylegsvickie
Post Number: 12
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Friday, September 25, 2009 - 08:50 am: |
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I have the same type of relationship with Gwen as Bethie and Fanny have with their Tops. The idea of her bottoming is just not in the picture-and its something we both agree on wholeheartedly.
Subbie's experience with the cane is similar to what happened when we experienced with the switch. Being a Southern girl, Gwen wanted to try out that implement customary to that region.
She did it the traditional way, applying it to the backs of my legs as well as my bottom. The pain was not the issue as much as the marks.I was well-striped from my calves on up, and they took almost a week to fully fade. And it was summer-what a drag not being able to wear my shorts and swimsuits.
So no more switch-unless I do something really bad and agree that this hated implement is what I deserve. Not likely to happen, to tell the truth. |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 2245
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 26, 2009 - 11:04 am: |
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I don't like the cane either. Tried it and it's just not for me. He is experienced with it but I just didn't care for it. So that's out. I still prefer his hand to anything else! LOL
Every time I say the word "exercise" I wash my mouth out with chocolate
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