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Celticbratt
New member
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 09:44 pm: | 
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Greetings fellow spankos- I have something I've been thinking about for quite a while, and I bet this is a great place to bounce it off my fellow fetish finders. My problem, as I'm sure at some point in time, has been yours as well, is....."How do I find a fellow Spanko if I'm not in a relationship already???" There are LOTS of us out there....but it can be a touchy subject to bring up in the start of a relationship."Hi, my name is Jane, I like long walks on the beach, cuddling, and good conversation." " I'm a Scorpio, I'm an animal lover, and oh yea, I get REALLY hot over the idea of finding me an ALPHAMALE who isn't afraid to throw me over his lap and warm my ass for me on occasion....."At this point, the other person is looking around for the camera, or wondering exactly what type of damage you sustained as a child.If they aren't a spanko, it is sort of difficult to broach the subject in the beginning. Then you run the risk of falling in love with a "Vanilla" who just won't ever "get it" (Not that it's a terrible thing, but some of us really would be happier with another spanko.) I'm thinking there has GOT to be an easier way- I'm thinking about getting tee-shirts printed up- Tight white baby-doll tees for us girls. Blank on the front, but on the back, in BIG bold black letters would be the following: YES I'M NAUGHTY , BUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?SPANK ME?? Now every woman out there who is a spanko has said that line to SOME guy, just as I'm sure a lot of male spankos have understood JUST what that meant if they heard it from a woman. To be politically correct, we would have to come up with a male version for all of the wonderfull male subbies out there, but you all get my drift. Imagine standing in line at the store, glancing up and reading that tag line on the back of a shirt. Do you think it would generate a conversation? I bet there would be a demand for them.} Hummm, I wonder if it would be worth a try?? If I don't find myself a Dom, I'm considering a billboard next....humm....Celticbratt} |
Softbreeze
New member
Username: Softbreeze
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 12:32 am: |
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That would be an awesome idea to wear such a t-shirt. I'd probably be too shy too wear it in public...lol
How about trying one of those bdsm website like collarme.com or bondage.com. I know they are not only for spankos but you might find someone there which is more...hmm...appropriate for your needs. I mean if you're up to meeting someone online, that is...it's just an idea |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 58
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 12:33 am: |
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Finding a spanko partner may not be easy, but there is the method that worked for me. I started hanging out with other spankos.
I made friends by putting myself out there in the cyber spanko community. I joined another discussion board like this one and that's where I met Dan. I know of at least six couples who have met partners that way.
I also know people who have had luck with Alt.com (which is why they're an advertiser here).
Then there are spanking groups that vary from community to community. There are various ways to find them. Try Googling "bdsm" and your city. That should give you a place to start.
Good luck and remember most of all, be safe! |
Wolfie
New member
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 22
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 10:26 am: |
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Every state, and sometimes every county or city has a bdsm or spanking group...you just have to find them. Once you do, start attending their munches (non-spanking get togethers for socializing purposes) and meet folks in a safe environment.
Celticbratt, there are several decent groups that I know of in your area...SCONY and TES in New York and the New Jersey Spankos Group. I belong to the second group although I'm in CT, they have folks from NJ, NY, CT, PA and even Delaware as members. We have a regular munch in the city once a month, and we also meet for dinner before going to OTK night at the club Paddles. Their a nice group of folks, very friendly and fun.
If I can help in any way, please let me know.
Oh, and I met my sweetheart/Dom the same way as Bethie...so keep your eyes open. 
(Message edited by wolfie on April 30, 2005) |
Sandy
New member
Username: Sandy
Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 06:09 pm: |
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I dropped the news on my partner on our second date. He was pretty surprised, but it's a dealbreaker for me. I didn't just say it out of nowhere. We were, erm, making out, and he made some mention of how warm I was becoming. And out it came: "I get even hotter with a good spanking." I was immediately embarassed, but he handled it well. He leaned me over the back of the couch and swatted me a few times. He showed some promise.
A tee shirt or tank top like the one Celtic Brat describes could work, too. I have a black tank top (I think listed on Dan's blog a while back?) that says "I enjoy a good spanking." The only problem was that I didn't feel comfortable wearing it in public either. 
There's a kink group in my area that I used to be a part of, but I met my guy in a truly vanilla way. He was my waiter and asked for my number. And here we are...  |
Janey
New member
Username: Janey
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 12:40 am: |
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This is an absolute issue and I'm glad you brought it up. Because I have such a dominant personality I come off as VERY toppish (though I'm a total sub). I'm also highly educated and lots of men seem to REALLY be turned off by articulate, highly educated women.
I finally found a Dom (who doesn't want to date me, only Dom me- though at first I thought it was more). I WANT a long term relationship-- but that's hard for anyone to find. If you add in a spanking thing to it- then it REALLY gets complicated.
Thanks for bringing it up. I've considered alt.com as well -- but somehow I don't want to keep getting pics of men holding their cocks when they read I'm a sub. And though I'm NOT old fashinoed, I DON'T want to be part of a couple or get pissed on, even if that's your thing. SIGH. |
Softbreeze
New member
Username: Softbreeze
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 05:43 am: |
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I understand what You mean Janey that certain kinks might cause problems but I can only say that I've found some really interesting and intelligent people on collarme.com. They can actually hold a conversation for longer than 5 minutes without drooling into cyber sex...which isn't my thing,btw... I even met one of them, ok it was just for a drink but it was great, he was a perfect gentleman. There are a few good seeds among all the bad ones...trust me...i don't mean to sound patronising or rude or whatever...I believe that if we keep looking we'll find just the Dom that's right for us....maybe I'm too naive, I'm not sure |
Sandy
New member
Username: Sandy
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 12:47 pm: |
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Ditto on Janey's post -- the pics of a man's "equipment" happened to me a lot when I was part of alt.com, but I haven't ever joined collarme. |
Celticbratt
New member
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 01:04 pm: |
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OK- I haven't heard from and Doms....Would a girl wearing a teeshirt like that catch your attention>>>;) Would you say anything to her?I wouldn't have any problems wearing it out in public, but then again, I am a bratt.... |
Janey
New member
Username: Janey
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 01:53 pm: |
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I have the additional joy of being slightly overweight. I'm not a huge fattie- and in person people seem to find me much more attractive than online... It just seems that online areas bring out the most shallow in people at times.
Ugh... that's my own self-esteem issue coupled with other people's preferences. Which is why I've been just playing reindeer games with my current Dom - so I can at least have more fulfillment than watching spanking porn, reading erotica and masturbating. (sorry if this is tmi-- it just seems to really hit home with me and resonate). |
Rocco
New member
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 11:42 am: |
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Celticbratt (love the name BTW) You should check out a place called neighborhoodies.com it's a great site where you can order t-shirts, sweatshirts, even undies with anything you want printed on them. They make great gifts ;) I love your idea about the shirts, and if I was on the prowl I'd sure be wearing one! |
Lily
New member
Username: Lily
Post Number: 1
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 06:26 pm: |
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first of all, I'm delurking here, hello all! thanks for setting this up bethie - it seems like a cool place so far.
celticbrat - I echo wolfie's recommendations of the NY area groups. I have been involved with SCONY and NJ Spankos, and have a little experience with TES. I have met lots of great people this way - good fellow bottom girlfriends as well as tops to spank me. After almost a year and a half of being "out" as a bottom, I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful man I met in the scene. I tried alt.com before that, and while I did meet one good man, there was a lot of way over my head kink to trudge through to find him.
And Janey - I too am a bit heavy, which I was always self conscious about. However, I have come to have a lot of pride in my body (and my bottom) since finding spanking - I suddenly enjoy wearing skirts and showing off a bit. AND - I'm also a very dominant personality, even though privately I'm totally sub/bottom. In the vanilla world I could absolutely never find a man who could handle my strong personality. I found this problem solved as well. I have found that men who are strong enough to top me (and I don't just mean physically strong) appreciate my strength and still give me what I need. Vanilla men who were ever attracted to me appreciated my strength because they wanted me to totally take care of them.
anyway, that's my two cents worth. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 46
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 07:48 pm: |
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Hi Lily, and welcome!
Ok, before this goes much further...90% of all the ladies I know in the scene are overweight. Thankfully, most of the men in the scene just think there's more bottom to spank. Because of their acceptance, I too have come to view myself as pretty and seek to wear sexier clothes and show off more.
Before coming out I thought I was fat and ugly and no one would want me. Now I know better. |
Janey
New member
Username: Janey
Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 10:22 pm: |
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Lily- welcome! I like your idea of having pride in my body.
And Wolfie-- THANK YOU for the reminder. Anytime I go to spanking parties I see tons of beautiful women dressed beautifully and in need of giving/receiving sound spankings. ;) But I look at women differently than I look at myself.
While I feel sexy and vampy to myself... when I go out- I certainly feel (secretly) that I should apologize for my weight or that somehow I deserve less than the Dom I want because I'm somehow physically deficient.
This is my own self-esteem issue and I'm SURE it also comes off in my aura or energy when I'm out and about... that little edge of insecurity that screams out. Perhaps just once, I will go out and act WORTH IT and SEXY... we'll see if I can "fake it" until I believe it.
Maybe I'll just get a shirt that says, "More Bottom To Spank."
*evil grin* |
Lily
New member
Username: Lily
Post Number: 4
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 10:28 pm: |
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Janey - that would be an excellent tshirt for you. Please - try dressing sexy and knowing that you have a spankable bottom, and the very alluring personality that the Dom wants. I assure you that you will not be disappointed. |
Headteddy
New member
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 21
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 11:05 pm: |
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Welcome Lilly. We have a good bunch here.
Janey:
The T-shirt would be great.
One of the guiding principles of life should be take your biggest liability and make into your biggest asset. I've tried to do that with my weight. I've been overweight all my life-a full 305 pounds at age 15. The day I got married I weighed a neat trim 198. 26 years later a not terrible 230. A My weight has dominated my life--- but not always negatively.
What I decided was to put myself back in control. I admitted that weight was a problem but that did not affect my intelligence or ability to interact successfully with women.
I learned to cook to attract women. Back in the early seventies a guy who made his own pasta by hand, his own sausage, sangria, could do Thanksgiving dinner for 12 or was able to make paella for 6 never lacked for women to have over for dinner. Then my personality could take over. I viewed my weight as something that made me work harder to please women in every way. I figured I only get one shot to impress, please and satisfy and I better do my dammdest to be successful. More often than not I built really good relationships in a wide variety of contexts. Than Tedette took me off the market but I still want her to see the trim 198 pound kindly,funny dominant she married. So I still work hard to please.
Find what works for you and be happy.
Enjoy
HMB |
Celticbratt
New member
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 08:22 am: |
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HUmmm-you all make such good points. It's SO DAMN NICE to know I'm not the only one who worries about the size of my bottom. I think that the problem is the percieved "NORM"- Come on guys/gals- every pic we see is some freakin' perky 22 year old without an ounce of fat, and certainly no cellulite on their backsides - every pic/movie/ect. We need some REAL pics od subbie girls with REAL bodies. I recently lost 1092 lbs- I could use an ego boost....lol...you gys are great! |
Celticbratt
New member
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 08:25 am: |
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Whoops- make that 102 lbs......yikes- I think I look pretty damn good right now- but everytime I see movies, ect., It makes me feal insecure cause I'm not perfect. sigh.... |
Rocco
New member
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:25 am: |
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No one is perfect and I think that's the point. All the people we see on tv and in the movies and view as perfect have a whole other world of problems to worry about. I mean sure, we could all look "perfect" if we had personal trainers, chefs, and nothing but time to work out ALL day. But we don't, because most of us live in a different reality than those people. Be happy in the person you are, not what you look like on the outside. If you can be happy with who you are where you are, people will flock to you Janey!
Oh, and Celticbratt, if I saw a woman walking around in the t-shirt you mentioned I would SO start a conversantion with her! |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 51
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:40 am: |
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Celticbratt, congratulations! Wow, thats quite an accomplishment and you should be very proud of yourself! 
Janey, I'm no different than you. It took a very determined Dom, who absolutely hated me putting myself down and wanted me to have a better self image, to make me see the error of my ways. Or rather...FEEL them. Oh my poor sore butt! 
Teddy, you naughty man your making me drool! What time is dinner?  |
Roseattar
New member
Username: Roseattar
Post Number: 2
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 11:18 am: |
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Hello, everyone! I met my wonderful Top on Bondage.com and made some good friends there, too. Just list only spanking in your profile and after you weed out the HNG's you'll be surprised at the good ones that are left. I've had a self image problem my whole life and it's a wonder what a good Dom can do for your self esteem. Rose. |
Headteddy
New member
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 24
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 04:48 pm: |
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Wolfie: You will always be welcome at my table. How about a board wide project "The Spanko Cookbook-Recipes to Warm Your Soul and Other Parts of the Anatomy" Let's collect recipe titles and work on the actual prep after we get a dozen or so. Could be fun!!
Enjoy!
Best:
HMB |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 30
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 04:59 pm: |
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Some names for recipes... hmm
1)backside bruiser
2)hot behind
3)Crimson Rump..
lol not alot but it's a start |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 56
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 05:28 pm: |
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Hehehehehehe
Hot crossed buns
Rump roasted
Brat butt
Making an Angel...food cake
Welsh rare-butt
Red bottom cake
Rear tartare
Beaten cheek whites
Not sure if this is what you meant Teddy... |
Celticbratt
New member
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 08:46 pm: |
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You all are SO not right- I'm home! lol. Thanks Rocco- Figures you have someone- all the good ones are taken ;) I did sign up in collarme.com today- I'm already talking to a nice Dom from NYC- He sent me an email after he created a Yahoo account for me- I love a take charge guy- I'l keep ya posted. |
Headteddy
New member
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 25
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 12:02 am: |
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Exactly Wolfie. When I talked to TD tonight she said she would consider modeling with Mr. Spoon but I had to promise not use it more than 5 times on each cheek and be very gentle. Yeah--Right!!
Other sugestions:
Beaten Biscuits
Freshly Paddled Butter Cookies
(S)planked Steak
Smoked Backside of Brat
Black and Blue Flank Steak
Natural salad with Bundles of Birches
Each recipe should be accompanied by a fitting scene. Hot crossed buns calls for a cane to be used for pastry and brat decoration.
Enjoy:
HMB |
Darwins
New member
Username: Darwins
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 04:04 am: |
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Wolfie I followed your post with interest and was glad to see that you finished it well. We would NOT want to have a discussion about size and shape would we?
Getting what you want is never easy ……….my granddad always said that was a good thing, because anything that comes easy is never truly appreciated!
Instead of focusing on what you perceive YOU look like, try looking at the guys. I do know one guy who is 6ft 4ins blond and a body to die for – but he is the only one.
Most of us are just like you --- 6 pack turned to one pack, hair lost in the mists of time etc etc.. You have no idea the amount of sexuality and sensuality that you contain, the fact that so many men are blind to what they can have if they were to apply themselves to the task is really so sad.
At the risk of embarrassing her, coaxing this out of Wolfie has been an absolute delight, and I put her up there with any siren you care to mention.
You can just play a tune, but with a little work to can have an overture!
Wolfie is the Queen of everything
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 62
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 09:56 am: |
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No Sir, we dont need to have this discussion again! 
I'm not 100% there yet, there are still days when I look in the mirror and sigh...but when I see the look in Steve's eyes when he looks at me, I feel like the most beautiful woman on earth.
This was a habit of many, many years to break and it didnt happen overnight. But it was worth every swat to feel good about myself again. |
Rocco
New member
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 11
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 10:09 am: |
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Sorry celticbratt ;)
Happy Hunting!! Keep us posted |
Headteddy
New member
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 32
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 10:15 am: |
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I have seen jeans with two red hand prints on the rear pockets-that would go nicely with the t-shirt
Enjoy
HMB |
Rocco
New member
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 12
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 10:19 am: |
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And a friend of mine just found some panties that had a big red hand print underneath "naughty gils need love too"
I think we have a whole outfit here. |
Janey
New member
Username: Janey
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 10:43 pm: |
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I just wanted to tell you all THANK YOU! I did an experiment today and all day I thought, "I'm beautiful and the ideal." (I did this to imagine being what everyone desired. Each time I felt ashamed or unattractive I said it to myself.)
And you know what-- I got several compliments, and one guy openly flirted with me.
This is a far step from being 100% happy with myself but it was also a reminder that everyone has insecurities, but the difference is not using those as an excuse.
Plus-- I AM a dynamite catch... someone just needs to find out and catch me (and spank it out of me). *grin*
Thanks again for the reminder all! |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 66
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 10:49 pm: |
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Your welcome Janey. Just keep reminding yourself of those words..."I am a dynamite catch!" and if you forget, well then just go to the roleplay board and get spanked for being naughty!  |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 41
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 12:59 am: |
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hmmm maybe I should head over there too :P <eg> |
Yontev
New member
Username: Yontev
Post Number: 1
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 11:28 pm: |
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Hi All, yes I'm new. Though this is directed principally at Janey there seems to be others that would feel good about the content.It was printed as a post card in Australia (and may well have been in other parts of the world too) The card has a Rubenesque lady tactfully covered here and there with ivy leaves and "There are 3 billion women who dont look like super models and only 8 who do" Take your que from that girls and be who you are. Sensible guys read the book and enjoy the story as its unfolds only the shallow scan covers.
And yes its easy for me since I was born slim but I have had to overcome other body deficiencies (in my eyes) to be reasonably content. So we all carry our bit of hidden luggage. Finally you may like to know that I ogle a ladys Bottom and imagine what it would be like to spank it. I dont think that I am way out on my own, its just that in polite society its accepted that a comment such as 'thats nice' or 'great shape" are accepteble comments on a passing female form. My thoughts are 'great bum' or 'love to have that over my knee' but not sure how this would go down as a public comment.
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Celticbratt
New member
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 9
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:43 am: |
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Yontev-As a female with a form...I'd certainly appreciate comments like that- but unfortunatly not everyone thinks the way we do- Hence my idea for the tee-shirt...lol- If you are a spanko, It would be like a big flashing sign.... |
Rocco
New member
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 23
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 09, 2005 - 04:29 pm: |
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Celticbratt,
Thought you might like this one as well. Just saw a t-shirt this weekend that read
Good Girls Need Spanking Too
Now you have a shirt for those real bratty days and a t-shirt for the more playful ones. |
Highwayman
New member
Username: Highwayman
Post Number: 9
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2005 - 02:32 pm: |
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The hankie/color code is a long tradition in the gay community. So if this sign was coopted from them, if someone from the same gender approached, we'd have to politely decline (or accept) (or include) (depending on the mood)...
A fuchia hankie in the right rear pocket meant that you liked to get spanked. A fuchia hankie in the left rear pocket means you are a spanker.
While the ladies here might like that touch, I don't think fuchia is male/dom color.
Alas, he was the Highwayman
The one who comes and goes
And only the Highway Woman
Keeps up with the likes of those...
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