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Nawtygurl
New member
Username: Nawtygurl
Post Number: 3
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, April 24, 2010 - 04:49 am: | 
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i am in a Master/slave/slave relationship, i do not live with Him 24/7 but His other slave does.i have been collared since november 2009.W/wwe were together ten months before that.
What i would like from you guys is advice, do you think i am been unreasonable or do you think as i do that i am seriously buying into an illusion because i am just so pathetically desperate to be wanted by someone?
He has a job which can lead to Him travelling one or two days a week around the country from about March to October, the rest of the time He works close to home and is home most nights by seven o'clock He sometimes works weekends in the job too.
He treats me well when i am in His home and i feel accepted and safe as His second, (there are little things He does which remind me constantly, not that id ever forget,) He has been there for me over the last year and a half when i have needed Him but......
He has never telephoned me. He only texts if i text first and even then a reply only comes when He finds the time, lately its felt more like if He can be bothered. i have to ask if its okay to ring Him again recentlt more excuses for why it isnt convenient. He has previously always wanted me at His home if i were able to be, yet now He makes excuses and has told me to stay at home. i have tried to tell Him how i feel over this last couple of months. He has listened once but nothing changed and i feel like i am imploding now as He said i could ring Him wednesday night, (only the second time in sixteen days) then when it came to the evening and i asked again He was too tired and suggested W/we could talk the following night despite knowing He would not be home for me to talk to.
i feel desperately unhappy, yet His other slave seems to think i am been unreasonable and i should just wait for Him.
when i do hear from Him i believe He does love me in His own way, but i do not feel that is enough for me anymore because i do not truly feel that i am wanted.
i am beginning to doubt my own worth. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3716
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 02, 2010 - 12:00 pm: |
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Please don't ever doubt your self worth; we all need to feel wanted. I can't tell you what to do in this situation, because that decision belongs to only you. Some people can play with many and some are polyamorous, meaning they can love many people at the same time. I have no idea if he is either of these. If I were you I think I would start looking for an additional relationship to add to your own experiences and not rely on him alone to satisfy your needs.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Nawtygurl
New member
Username: Nawtygurl
Post Number: 4
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, May 20, 2010 - 02:40 pm: |
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Thanks Fanny,
your suggestion is appreciated, i think i need to back off too, enjoy the life that i have as limited as it is by my anxiety to seek a real relationship. i have decided to accept the fact that i must wait until my offspring are grown to enjoy a true D/s relationship were i can give myself totally to someone, thats if there are any mature Dominant males out there that would want a fifty plus female who enjoys a spanking, heck who knows by then i might have outgrown the need for it anyway! |
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