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Brandspankingnew
New member
Username: Brandspankingnew
Post Number: 10
Registered: 05-2011
| | Posted on Saturday, May 14, 2011 - 08:37 pm: | 
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Does anyone have any suggestions as to if it is fair to base a spanking soley around a attitude or action that has not happened yet.... To clarify, I am planning a session based around an attitude that I know I will get because I know how she will react to the situation....Is this fair, should I have more to lecture her about? |
Jeannie
Spanko
Username: Jeannie
Post Number: 22
Registered: 10-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, May 14, 2011 - 09:07 pm: |
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When I have not done anything to earn, wait not earn I mean deserve, a spanking I get what some people call a maintenance spanking.
Maintenance is important to keep things working properly including a relationship ! |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1763
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 15, 2011 - 12:55 pm: |
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I have to agree with Jeannie, to me, a punishment suggests corrective action taken for a misdeed already committed. Maintenance spankings are used to reaffirm the submissives role or behavior. Punishment usually tends to be harsher or more severe in nature, to send a clear chastisment. The dynamics of every realtionship is different, but to me, by punishing her for something she has not yet done, would be sending the wrong signal. How would it differ then for an actual misdeed?
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Mbottom
New member
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 15
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2011 - 09:43 am: |
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Hey all, just to clear things up, we are not in a DD relationship and we dont do True punishments...I am the real spanko in this couple and we are new to the 'game', so to speak...We only practice erotic spankings...Altho, I need the psychological game & feeling of being in trouble in order to get what I need from the session...(each to his own right)...So, my hubby is trying to learn different aspects of things he can bring into the game for me, not REAL reasons in which we are upset with each other....Thanks for the help Jeannie & Zippo....Sorry if there was any confusion!! |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1764
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2011 - 02:45 pm: |
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Forgive me, I misunderstood the the intent of the original post. To me, mindset is just as important, if not more so, than the actual 'mechanics' of a spanking. I completely understand your need to be in the right frame of mind to achieve the desired results.
If I understand you correctly now, you are looking for that 'What did I get myself into' or 'Young lady, you know you have earned a spanking' type feeling.
To address Brandspankingnew's original post with this in mind, you don't need to have a significant amount of issues to deal with, an attitude problem is sufficient to work with, the point of lecturing her, is to make her feel contrite and remorseful, and that she deserves a spanking to serve as penance.
Things you may want to try too, is try sending her to her room and prepare herself as far as a state of dress, and fetch an implement and place it in a chair, bed and once she is ready for her 'punishment' to stand with her hands locked behind her head facing the implement and think about why she is there, ie the disappointment you feel in her over her behavior. and tell her that you will be in shortly to discuss this with her and administer her 'punishment'. This extra thinking time, while she is staring at the implement, should help provoke those butterflies and that feeling of 'I'm in for it now'
You obviously know better than I, what buttons to push to get her anticipation up, as it is different for all. Try and look at all the different emotions you would like to evoke, humbleness, submissiveness, embarrassment, ect and look for ways to help provoke those in her, either through lecturing, maybe corner time ect.
I hope this was helpful, and wish the both of you happy spankings!
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Mbottom
Spanko
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 17
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2011 - 05:13 pm: |
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Zippo, you are understanding the feeling I need to get perfectly!! Sometimes Brandspankingnew doesnt word things correctly...lol...Since he is new at this, he hasnt had a lot of time to process the fact that there are individuals who incorporate spankings into their marriage for correctional needs...He has always just thought of it as sexual foreplay...For me, it is very psychological...I need the anticipation & being scared & humiliation...& it cant be role play...Altho I do like him telling me what to wear for my punishment...But for example, I cant just lay across his lap, giggling, and get anything from the experience...I was wired wierd I guess...It makes it more difficult for him, being a newbie!! But even tho things dont always go perfectly, I am sincerely glad to have a husband that craves to master the game...& seems to have some fun with it...We email each other a few times a week, going over things we want or need, or may like to try with the spanking, so as to make sure we dont cross any lines or ruin the experience for either of us...Which is very helpful!! I want to thank you for all of your years of advice and Im sure there will be more questions to come!! :o) |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1766
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2011 - 08:51 pm: |
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No worries about the wording of things, I'm glad you clarified the intention, so that I could try and offer more pertinent advice. You are fortunate to have a husband that not only wants to go through the motions, but wants to perfect it so he can truly satisfy your desires. Having fun with it is an extra bonus  I'm glad you both have such a great line of communication, it will serve you well in the future.
I'm always happy to offer what advice I can, and am pleased if it proves to be useful.
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Mbottom
Spanko
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 18
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 - 08:51 am: |
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Many thanks!! I wish I would have found this forum years ago, I know it would have fueled my being honest with my husband!! I am just glad I finally did & things r progressing so fast...he claims that even if I didnt want it anymore, now he enjoys it too much to stop.....
But to have a place to actually be open about my desires, that I have kept hidden for so long, with like minded people, is a relief.
I cannot express enough how thankful I am for this forum and for people like you, that are there to help those of us 'coming out'!!!  |
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