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Message |
    
Badbb
New member
Username: Badbb
Post Number: 41
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 09:35 pm: | 
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Is..complicated
Well I have a (removed) who takes care of me and diciplines me....a dom (removed) I recently meet him at msn..
but he is like very ...submissive I don't know the exact word but ...like he is always asking me if he I want to do things instead of just making me do them and Im the one who says what to do ...!!! I mean what kind of (removed) tells her (removed) what do to?....for example.
But he is really nice and I love him soo much!! wourn't change him for anyone!!...
what can I do to make him more dominant?
(Message edited by Admin on January 04, 2006) |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 298
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 05:19 am: |
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Badbb, if he doesn't possess a dominant personality, he's not going to find one. If he's not interested in "being" a dominant, he wont' be one.
You may be right, that his interest is more on the "other" side. Sometimes it's quite hard for men to accept that side to themselves, and rather than admit it, they just "play" at being what they are not. It can still be fun that way.
Perhaps he's not a "Dom" in the traditional sense, but maybe he can at least "play" your "(removed)," and you can enjoy that time with him.
If someone is not dominant, I don't think they can learn to be. They may learn from others, but unfortunately, if it's not "in" them...it's just not in them!
K
(Message edited by Admin on January 04, 2006) |
Zippo
Advanced Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1512
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 05:36 am: |
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I think you hit the nail on the head K. You can try printing out stories that interest you to try and spark his interest, but I agree with K that expecting a complete personality change might be far fetched
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Pinkcheeks
New member
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 8
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 06:28 am: |
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well said K....
My favorite color? pink of course 
"But honey...wait...I didn't mean it!!"
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 940
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 08:33 am: |
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Perhaps he is merely inexperienced? Some "new to the scene" spankers may be hesitant about being very dominant at first, especially if your not long out of the closet yourself. Try talking about this with him face to face...you should be able to tell if he is just being careful about scaring you, or if he isnt feeling dominant himself.
Do you want a Dom, or a (removed)? I didnt think (removed)'s were very dominant all the time, but I also dont really understand that kind of role play. 
(Message edited by Admin on January 04, 2006)
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
3 wise men? Be serious....
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Katie_spades
Junior Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 141
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 01:57 pm: |
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I'm kindof with Wolfie... the other thing is that he might not want to scare you off by being too dominant. Like Jake is way more dominate now when he punishes me than he was in the beginning and he said he wanted to be more dominant earlier but liked me so much, he was afraid he'd scare me off.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Badbb
New member
Username: Badbb
Post Number: 43
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 02:18 pm: |
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exactly wolfie!! is not that he dosn't want too! is that we are "new" in the bussiness and I quite understand that he may not know!...
the thing is , should I just give him time? |
Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 229
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 02:53 pm: |
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I would definitely give him time. Perhaps some of the Doms on the site could give him some ideas. Or if he would read the site, or you print some things off the site that may give him an idea of how to react in different situations that may put him more at ease and let him know at the same time that you are OK with the scenarios that he is reading.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Admin
Board Administrator
Username: Admin
Post Number: 44
Registered: 03-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 02:55 pm: |
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Hello, everyone, I just wanted to remind you all of our rules about any mention of age play. Certain key words that have been mentioned here are the type I don't want on my site. Sorry, but the last thing I want are the search engine bots finding this page by these references.
I don't like to edit without explanation, especially since my editing will change the original question at hand. Sorry about that but I couldn't allow that sort of thing to get started here. Carry on with the thread, but please don't use any age-play references.
Thank you! |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 944
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 03:38 pm: |
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Sorry Bethie, I simply forgot. Or maybe it was a "senior" moment? 
Thanks for fixing the blunder. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
3 wise men? Be serious....
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 579
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 - 04:41 pm: |
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No worries, Wolfie! I figured it was just an oversight.
The discussion about dominant personalities is a great one so I didn't want to delete the whole thread, just the words that were problematic. I'm glad you understand. Thanks! |
Darwins
Junior Spanko
Username: Darwins
Post Number: 100
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 03:08 am: |
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With the changing face of society male Dominance or the showing of it towards females is not very PC – even in the military where you might expect it to have continued. I have serving friends who bemoan frequently the hoops they must jump through just to appear to be “correct”.
It is not therefore a surprise – or it shouldn’t be, that having had to suppress any attitudes of dominance towards females per se in the workplace and in society generally, that it carries over into private situations as well.
For me it works in reverse.
All my life I have been either a sea going officer or an employer, so always (to a greater or lesser degree) in charge, and I have found as the years have gone on that I have had to deliberately “curb” my dominance in order to appear to be compliant with the new society norms.
I show no such restraints in private.
Even in a spanking environment where dominance is acceptable and even strongly desired, it takes a while for this “change” from the norm to percolate through. I suggest you wait and let things take their course to see if the suppressed dominance that is there will finally emerge.
I'm a king bee baby Buzzing round your hive
we can make honey baby if you let me come inside
Come on babe lets buzzzzz a while.
(Rolling Stones)
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 305
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 06:34 am: |
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 The term that has been removed is a common term and role/label used in the BDSM and gay lifestyle. Perhaps it's the connotation within the spanking community that makes it a no-no here. I'm surprised, but of course will refrain from it's usage. I could see if the "specifics" of the interest were detailed.
While that type of "action/interest" does seem to be quite prevelant in the spanking community at large, I DO appreciate not hearing about it here. 
Just wanted to voice my opinion...as always.  Geez, I find the nonconsensual spankings posts more offensive than the deleted term.
Back to different strokes.
The rule is posted now, along with the reason. I'll adhere to it.
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 949
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 07:59 am: |
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K, site protocol was posted back in April and it very clearly speaks about not allowing age play or references to it on this site. Its become even more essential that we dont break this rule because of the child pornography fears of the online public. We have to be careful here, or we could be shut down.
The rules also state that we cant talk about non-consensual spanking, but Bethie left the Covert thread on the board because all of us were incensed at the thought of him spanking his daughter in law against her wishes. It clearly shows we dont accept that kind of attitude here on the Den.
Most people who join the Den dont bother to read the rules clearly posted at the top of the board. Anyone who is unsure about what is acceptible and what isnt, should take the time to check them out before posting. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 950
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 08:02 am: |
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quote:I show no such restraints in private.
Oh that is so true! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 306
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 01:30 pm: |
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Oh, Wolfie, I agree, that most people don't read the rules, but I really think that most don't really intend to break them either. I read over the rules when joining, as with any site I join...but wasn't aware of the connotation of just saying the deleted word to be against the rules. It's clear now.
Thanks for reiterating it all, and I really think while these rule faux pas' are bad...it will probably cause a few to go back and actually read the rules. So there's at least "something" good out of it.
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 953
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 02:03 pm: |
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Good point K, thanks. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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