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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 232
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 07:38 pm: | 
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Another thread just got me thinking, if you are a brat or sub out there and have a Top or Dom that you are responsible to, do you ever say the NO word to them.
Do you say it and get away with it? Or if you say that NO word is there some sort of consequences involved.
Like in my circumstances sometimes I can say no and get away with it and other times if I say no there will be consequences. Sometimes this all becomes sort of confusing, but at least I do have some leeway from time to time.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 960
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 09:46 pm: |
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I say NO all the time...it just depends on how I say it. 
If he is telling me about spankings I have coming, or things he has planned to do to me, NO is used between lots of nervous giggles and squirming in my seat.
If I am really in trouble or he is being very Dom with me, NO is said in a little voice and accompanied by "sir".
If I am over his lap and he suddenly reaches for a toy like his little white stinger, NO is shreiked over and over again while I kick and try to get away (unsuccesfully I might add).
And NO can be moaned in total ecstasy when bound to the bed for his pleasure, while my eyes beg him never to stop.
So yes, I tell him NO constantly. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Naughtybynature
Spanko
Username: Naughtybynature
Post Number: 113
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 12:34 am: |
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No...Whitney knows the word, and of course reacts correctly ...but for some reason, I am still learning that two letter word. 
Did is a word of achievement, Won't is a word of retreat, Might is a word of bereavement, Can't is a word of defeat, Ought is a word of duty, Try is a word of each hour, Will is a word of beauty, Can is a word of power.
*(Unknown Author)
Don't take life so seriously.....it isn't permanent
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Tmichellebrat
Junior Spanko
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 92
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 01:03 am: |
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Well I have said NO to him several times and sometimes I get a reaction and other times not but I think he can tell when my NO is intentional or meant for play. When he has asked me to do something and I tell him NO ...well that is a no no because there is a consequence. I have said NO to him alot online and since there is such a distance between us right now the consequences come way later...I just think that he will forget because we only see each other every four months but boy does he have a good memory ....he remembers better than I do and he is much older LOL. So yes I have said NO to him several times. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 965
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 08:08 am: |
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Age has nothing to do with it Michelle, a good Dom rarely forgets anything! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Darwins
Junior Spanko
Username: Darwins
Post Number: 102
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 09:49 am: |
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The simple answer is that NO is not acceptable.
The reality is of course, that there are times when NO is always acceptable. It really depends on the circumstances in which NO is used. If a spanking is deserved, then NO will not prevent it, and to even consider seriously using the word NO when you know the spanking is deserved, is likely to cause problems.
Sometimes, ladies are too fond of asserting the NO word and then broadcast gleefully to their friends how they "got away with it". It is no wonder that periodically these same ladies have feelings of dissatisfaction about their spanking life, and very often are the ones that ask the question "How can I make my man more dominant"? What they dont seem to realize is that their regular use of the NO word actually undermines his dominance.
It is not unheard of for some partners to become so confused over when they should/should not (bearing in mind that those that are converted vanillas are already concerned about getting it wrong)that they become totally disenchanted with the whole spanking idea.
I would offer these ladies a word of caution, say NO too often, and it may turn into never.
I'm a king bee baby Buzzing round your hive
we can make honey baby if you let me come inside
Come on babe lets buzzzzz a while.
(Rolling Stones)
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 306
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 11:21 am: |
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Well, as a partner of a vanilla who plays, I can tell you that it can be very hard to NOT say no.
I say no whenever I want in real life, since we don't do DD. And that's fine. He doesn't expect otherwise.
But when we're in bed, and he says "Do you want a spanking"? It's VERY hard to not say no, even when I do. I also don't want to impose, or make him feel obligated. So I often say "No, it's ok, thank you."
I've tried asking him NOT to ask, because I feel compelled to refuse, but that doesn't work either.
I realize that it's up to us to be clear about what we want...but it's hard to suppress pride/embarrassment as well.
Luckily, he usually doesn't listen. And I don't give him a hard time when he doesn't. So I guess he realizes it's a pretty soft 'no'. 
(Message edited by pagan on January 06, 2006) |
Katie_spades
Junior Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 148
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 12:01 pm: |
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Jake and I have talks before ad after my spankings - there have been times where I felt it was unnecessary or really unfair to be spanked and expressed this - in most of those times we've talked and decided it would be unfair to spank me and he didn't. It's always important to speak up because if you are truly unhappy about it ad get spanekd anyway, this could lead to feelings of resentment later down the road.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Redhinney
Junior Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 129
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 01:21 pm: |
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I can say no to something and if I do to others it will be done anyway. For example saying not to a spanking doesn't do a bit of good but get me an additional spanking. Saying no during a punshiment day also doesn't work just adds additional spankings again. Saying no during moan of pleasure he knows better than to stop. I can say not to life stuff like lets o to dinner at Rick's I can say no and he will listen to my side and we will decide on a different place. Just becasue we are a practing DD couple does not me I am a doormat and that he has total say on everything. |
Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 234
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 03:08 pm: |
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Redhinney, Pagan - I agree I say no and yes whenever it is appropriate for many things in our everyday life as Mr. B and I have pretty much a partnership.
When we are in another role in our marriage which is mostly play with a little DD then my no's don't really count because he absolutely pays no attention to them anyway. So Steve in this context I don't get away with my no's. If Mr. B wants to spank or he feel he needs to spank then it does not make much of a difference if I say no or yes. But it is on his time schedule not mine. 
Boy now my mind is even working overtime. This is leading me to another thought.
I very very much want and need to be in control. Mr. B sees this and understands, however he also sees a need in me that I need to let go of that control from time to time. This is where most of our DD becomes involved. I won't let go (give up that control in a situation) and he is determined that I will.
That is where my discipline spankings usually come from. If I don't give that control over when he thinks I need to, then I'm in trouble.
Ultimately it is my decision. I can let go, give it up for that short amount of time regarding whatever the situation is, or the trigger point that caused my control issues to flair up and all is fine OR I can be spanking until the point that I've let the control go and the control will certainly not be uppermost in my mind by that time. Actually I've determine most of the time, it is best to let that control go when Mr. B says "LET IT GO" because I don't really enjoy the discipline side of a spanking. 
If that makes any sense at all.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Nybrat
New member
Username: Nybrat
Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 04:06 pm: |
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I agree with what is said....I think it depends when you are saying no....For the most part I am not allowed to say no....but again if it is to answer a question then it is okay.
I am also not allowed to use a certain emoticon on yahoo yim...the one where the emoticon has his hands folded and is shaking his head no.
Sinny
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Littlelotte
New member
Username: Littlelotte
Post Number: 6
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 04:33 pm: |
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I definitely do NOT get away with saying 'No.' Trust me, I've tried. Screaming 'no' doesn't actually work, either. Neither does, "If you spank me, I will make you REALLY regret it." or anything along those lines. 
However, luckily for me, we have a safe word I can use if I need to. I've only had to use it once.
http://lottedarling.blogspot.com/
"I've always thought a good lashing with a buggy whip would benefit you immensely."
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Shylah
Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 576
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 05:48 pm: |
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Depends on why I'm saying No. If it's for a spanking, I think it's pretty well taken for granted we will say NO. Even when we mean YES. If I'm saying no to keep him from doing something stupid, he best listen!
He's still in the doghouse. Every time he earns a housepoint...he opens his mouth and stupidity falls out.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Tmichellebrat
Junior Spanko
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 97
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 11:53 pm: |
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Wolfie...thanks for the little tip ...yes I have already gathered that he NEVER forgets anything, not even the slightest infraction and mind you we only see each other every four months...personally I think he keeps a list of my infractions and then he compares notes to mine LOL. But he also knows that if he does "forget" then he has one unhappy brat on his hands LOL.
As far as using NO ...I agree with everyone here on that ...there is always a time and a place for the word No to be used and with me I know when it's appropriate to use it and when it's not! |
Otktheplace4me
Advanced Spanko
Username: Otktheplace4me
Post Number: 1500
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 05:20 pm: |
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Sure I say no...No Sir...No problem... No I will not forget...
Pout out loud!!!
Cpl. Brat 2
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1929
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 03:29 pm: |
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I am in the process of being taught that the inverse of NO is OW!
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1023
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 05:54 pm: |
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If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Redhinney
Junior Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 139
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 06:40 pm: |
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A learned a lot as a in our Dd relationship. One of them is that certain things I give control up very easly the other is I will give control up one way or other. Either I let him take over or he will spank until I give in. As long as we have been at this I still found that certain things I have a hard time giving up So there are days my butt is hot, red and sore still. The strange thing is I know what W will do each and everytime and I still have to fight it. |
Pinkwench
New member
Username: Pinkwench
Post Number: 41
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 07:11 pm: |
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As we are not practicing D/s most of the time, I say 'no' a lot. But my 'no' is for playtime spanking. And my 'no' is only playing.
Jake gives me punishment spankings, when I am full-fledged into bitch mode, and that's when I've gone too far. That's when he takes no nonsense from me, and tells me that I am getting a punishment spanking, be it right now, or later.
However, I have been readily volunteering to go for a ride in our van (teen son at home), to get a deserved punishment spanking, pretty much as soon as possible right after he announces that I'm going to get one. For me, I would much rather get it over with, and get back on track, then delay it for another time |
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