| Author |
Message |
    
Spankingcouple
Junior Spanko
Username: Spankingcouple
Post Number: 51
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 08:24 am: | 
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good morning everyone.it's been a while since i've been online. my computer hard drive crashed when i was downloading a program.i was not happy. it took Dell over a month to send me a new hard drive and another week for a tech to install it.
anyways,should i have welts after a punishment caning? andy is pretty new to the cane and i'm not sure he is using it correctly. i recieved a punishment caning last friday-50 strokes and my bottom has purple strips all over it.some of the strips cross and they really hurt.i am such a cry baby because after the first 5 strokes i was crying very hard. andy taped last fridays' session and i took a very hard caning.he has me bending over a chair and i'm suppose to grab ahold of the seat.if i let go it's more strokes. god he is strict!
it's good being back,
trish |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1055
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 09:07 am: |
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I know I'm a bit of a wuss, but 50 strokes of the cane when you havent had it much before sounds like a lot to me. And someone who would continue up to 50 when you are crying hard after 5 strokes...I just dont understand this.
Most people who use the cane are instructed in its use by someone more experienced, and then spend time practising on a pillow before they use one on a human.
Steve is very experienced with the cane, and only leaves welts when he wants to. He gave me a punishment caning for breaking curfew , and didnt leave a mark on me. Yet when we were playing, he left me with a couple of stripes so I would have something to see in the mirror. 
I dont know what you did to earn such a hard caning, but I would hope you never let him do such a severe one again. A few welts is normal, a lot seems excessive to me.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Shylah
Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 594
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 09:24 am: |
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Please be careful, a cane misused can cause nerve damage.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1057
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 10:52 am: |
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I asked Steve about this, and he said that several things may have contributed to your painful welts. No warm-up, using the cane too hard, and stretching the skin too tightly will make any caning worse than it might otherwise be. Caning while bent over that far can cause the subcutaneous layer of skin to be damaged, leaving those purple welts you still have.
I hope this helps you in the future Trish. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 203
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 01:31 pm: |
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Yes, I completely agree with wolfie. If I am gtting a caning, if I simply bend over touching a table or couch the skin isn't stretched as much but I was caned laying flat on a table so my skin was stretched taught and that was one really intense painful caning. Then again, I have never had 50! The most I have ever had was 20 - and hey I am officially a spanko now!!!! YEAH!
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 360
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 01:58 pm: |
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General info on caning, in the link below. There's tons of info on the web. It would probably do good for both of you to do some reading, and also to get out and perhaps gets some experience watching and learning from others.
I find caning to be one of the things that can't be taught via reading a book. Too many variables.
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/cane.html
There are a few more articles, on caning, on this site also. |
Kennysspankee
Junior Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 93
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 02:22 pm: |
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Oh my GAWD! I don't know how you stayed for that many strokes, especially if they were hard enough to leave stripes and bruises. Strokes that leave swelling and pinkening up hurt enough. If you were distressed enough to cry after the pain of 5, maybe 10 would have been enough. Hope you don't have any permanent damage from that. The area may also be weakened so that it will blister whenever you get a 'regular' spanking (maybe not with the hand), but some implements could bring them up. Make sure they're totally gone before using anything narrow and heavy that may cause compression and bring up a blister. |
Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 253
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 03:46 pm: |
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I agree with everyone else. A caning such as the one you describe is just too much.
In fact I don't know why a punishment spanking has to leave a mark at all.
I know that Tops/Doms can get their point across quite effectively without leaving a mark on the bottom. It may be red, red, red, and feel about 20 times it's regular size, but it does not have the punishment does not have to actually mark.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Spankingcouple
Junior Spanko
Username: Spankingcouple
Post Number: 52
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 07:34 pm: |
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thank you for all advice. andy did give me a hard caning. he needs to watch some videos about caning. i've been on my tummy for 2 hours this afternoon with ice packs on my bottom. my bottom does look and feel a lot better. i do think that the cane is very effective for punishment but 50 is way too many. my sister saw my bottom and she pointed to my bottom and said "he missed a spot" but did say it looked very sore and that andy caned too hard. sis knows about our life style choice and understands my need to be spanked. i've been spanked all my life and don't really know any diffent.
thanks again,
trish |
Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 213
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 09:39 am: |
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One thing that I just thought of - althought Jake had experience caning before me, he hadn't caned me (well has now but not at first, LOL). He practiced a lot on a pillow before on me - perhaps that is a thought. Wow, 50 - that is certainly something.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Spankingcouple
Junior Spanko
Username: Spankingcouple
Post Number: 58
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 11:34 am: |
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i don't want the cane again. the wooden paddle is fine but the cane,at least for now,i would rather not have. i never cried soooo hard in my life. OUCH!!!
trish |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1076
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 01:50 pm: |
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I dont blame you Trish, I would feel the same way.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 228
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 08:52 pm: |
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Jeez, if I got 50, I don't think I'd ever want to see a cane again, LOL!
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Pinkwench
Junior Spanko
Username: Pinkwench
Post Number: 55
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 09:20 pm: |
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Katie,
Now my Jake is just chomping at the bit to find a great cane to try out in the near future on me. I am not thrilled, but I did like the birching rods (made out of cut in half, various size dowel rods) that he just made for our play weekend, and they were great. He did keep one very thin rod, that he used as a cane once on each cheek. It left a slight mark, and a rather deep burn, so I'm assuming that is close to a cane experience.
But shit, Trish, 50 strokes, if they were full force strokes, I would have been leaving the house or I would have said the safeword, or something for that.
Pink
"Pink is my signature color, best expressed when it is the color of my spanked ass"  |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 629
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:30 pm: |
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We have both rattan and acrylic canes, and I can tell you from experience that your spanker needs to know how to use them. They're intense toys that aren't easy to master. If you're spanker isn't careful, they can wrap, land off the mark, and don't have to be swung hard to be effective.
Practicing gives a top the chance to get the "feel" for the way the cane lands. You don't want wrap around or wild swings that land in places you don't want it.
Personally, I enjoy our canes but that's because he's sensible when he uses them and knows what damage they can do so he's extra careful. I jumped once during my first caning and got some wrap around on my hip that really burned and left a nasty welt that lasted for two days. He felt worse about it than I did and it wasn't even his fault! But I learned a valuable lesson; don't wiggle when he's using the cane.
Trish, if that caning was beyond what you find acceptable in your relationship, you really need to talk to him about it. Otherwise, you're going to start feeling resentful and stop trusting him and that will do serious damage to your relationship. Punishment spankings can't work if you can't trust your spanker to do what's right for you. Talk it out. |
Kennysspankee
Junior Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 99
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 03:57 am: |
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We have 2 canes, ones a 7mm and the other is 8mm. I was hitting them down onto a pillow to see if they go off course from where you aim at. One was off by 3" and the other by 4". I kept turning and hitting till it landed where I aimed. A slight crockedness in the cane will convince it to go off. I found the spot it had to be held to go straight and marked the top at the handle with a magic marker. If you keep it centred on top it goes where you intend it. Try yours and see where it's straight. |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 374
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 06:31 am: |
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Now that the cane is nicely hidden away....
Trish, a couple of things Andy can try, is to do as others suggested, and practice, as well as realize that you don't have to really hit hard with the cane to get the desired effect. The action, for the spanker, is in the flick of the wrist, and not in the force of the swing.
Also, you don't have to "see" a welt, in order to know that you've made your mark [pun intended]. A redden tone to the skin, and the yelp from the spankee, is enough to realize it was a good whip with the cane.
As discussed a few times in recent threads, the idea of fifty with a cane is very much excessive. If you think about it, Michael Fey was caned for judicial punishment, and if I remember correctly, he only got four (4). That should be a good indication that fifty is excessive.
A position that helps both the spankee and spanker, is to have the spankee laying face down and flat. The bottom itself then has less chance of moving around, as your secured by the surface you're laying on, and the spanker (or caner, in this case), is able to have a better target. The bottom itself is cushioned a little more in this straight position too. When caned, while you're bent over, you stretch the skin, and leave yourself more open to really being hurt by the cane. Of course that's why "punishments" are usually with the person bent over, but it's not really realistic to have them grab their ankles, without hurting them beyond what's needed. And really...how many folks here can bend over that far anyway. 
This position (flat) also makes is easier on the Top, as they can raise and lower the cane without having to aim as much, as the stroke will just be down. It's just much easier, for some reason. A little tap-tap-tap, before the swish, tends to help with the aim too (sort of like a baseball batter, when they swing the bat before the pitch comes). Swinging the cane to someone bent over, usually causes the inexperienced caner to swing up or down, thus missing the target area [no matter how big that target area may be].
A caution about videos on caning....IMO, most of them are not good to learn from, as almost everyone I've seen has unsafe practices, of hitting to maim, or striking too close to the spine (or actually on it). I don't believe I've seen a single video that also didn't have wrapping as well, and while this isn't necessarily a bad thing for some, it's not the target for a proper caning.
The cane can be a sensual tool also, so those that might have fear of it, there are many ways to use it. I've used it for both (punishment and fun) and have it in at least a half dozen different materials. I prefer using the rubber coated ones.
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1089
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 08:19 am: |
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Thank you K, I agree that the "flat on the bed" position is the most comfortable for the canee and the easiest for the caner. The bottom is rounded and full, and the caner can hit the target spot without coming near the danger zones.
Ive never seen a rubber-coated cane...how are they different from a regular one? 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 377
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 01:07 pm: |
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I first saw the rubber coated ones, through a local vendor. I have a Singapore cane, as well as a looped rattan. The difference, although hard to believe, is that the sting is actually stronger. I had thought it would have cushioned the blow, but it actually deepens it. The huge plus for me is that it's easily cleaned too. I have a bit of a phobia when it comes to keeping my toys clean, and the rubber coating is great. It also makes the cane more durable, and then you don't have to worry about it splintering or cracking.
K |
Kennysspankee
Junior Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 100
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 02:05 pm: |
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One other thing about caning someone who is lying flat. The caner must make sure that the cane is level-straight when he strikes and not pointing downward or there's a better possiblity of the tip gettin' you. I agree with Ftops descriptions, of a strike, and results. We just played with the canes 2 nights ago and that's pretty much I how looked (and sounded during) when we were finished. And that works for me! (And him) |
Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 232
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 04:37 pm: |
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wow a Singapore cane K? What the hell is that thing like - that sounds like pure evil.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Kennysspankee
Junior Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 101
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 05:09 pm: |
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I was relaying this thread to my husband and the posts about it over the last few days, and he said today that it seems to me that we've been toping from the bottom. If her SO felt he needed to be that severe to keep the incident that caused the punishment in the first place, not ever to happen again, then he must have known what he was doing. He must know her tolerances well enough to make that judgement. Then he said it seems to have worked as she thinks she doesn't want to play with that cane again. And that's the whole point, isn't it? If she was endangering her life or someone else's by her actions, then her SO sure doesn't want to see it repeated. I told him we don't know what she did. And he said, does it matter? The punishment severity is up to him to make. |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 379
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 06:03 pm: |
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Katie, the Singapore Cane is very severe, if used full force...like any cane would be. Because of the thickness, I've been told it's a bit thuddy in comparison, but still has the cane bite. I only use it for threats, or with a very mild touch.
Kennysspankee, I'm what may be considered as an experience Top/spanker (by years, quantity and fortunately quality too ), and I have to say that I've not seen any posts here as leading to 'topping from the bottom.' I have more read from experienced spankers and spankees that are familiar with safe practice, as well as expressing concern for someone.
Not everyone that spanks "knows" what they are doing, just by default of "being" the spanker, or by their long standing relationship with the spankee. Couples have been married twentysome years, and know each other quite well, but when they add a spanking mix to their relationship, neither one "knows" what they are doing (when they start out).
Regardless of the reason, safety of the person being punished is still the number one priority. To hurt them is not.
I feel the only person to know someone's tolerance is the person themselves, and when it comes to "new" use of implements (as the cane, in the case), with it being used the first time, neither person knew what the "tolerance" could have been. Reading body language takes many sesions and many mistakes, IMO.
One cannot assume that one implement is the same as another, when it comes to striking a bottom (which is what I believe the Caner did in this case), just as a spankee will have a different tolerance level based on many things, such as hormones, time of day, if the wind blows , etc. Tolerance changes, as do moods, with women AND men. One day a bottom can take one hundred whacks with a paddle, and the next session they can take 20, and beg for mercy.
I think many people tend to think there's nothing more to spanking someone, than to bend them over, and slap away. I think some just "think" they "must" know everything, when in fact they can only have a hint to what something may be like when first starting out, or using a new implement. It was stated, in an earlier thread, that the man in question was using the cane for the very first time, therefore, it was admitted that he didn't know a thing about it...let alone his ladies tolerance for it. (Also shown in this thread when requests, to help him learn how to use the cane, were made.)
Does it matter what she did to be punished? Not to me, when it comes to being excessive or harmful with the punishment doled out.
Hurting someone is not the goal of punishment, regardless of the offense. He could've punished her with a feather, and it should have the same effect, as if he used the cane. If it doesn't...then he must not know what he's doing. Just my opinion...okay, my VERY strong opinion.
K |
Kennysspankee
Junior Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 102
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 07:31 pm: |
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Yeah, I must point that out to him that he didn't know her tolerances for the cane. Good One! We all like to feel for someone, kinda putting ourselves in their place and going, HOLY CRAP! Which was my first reaction when I read her post. So I think that's what everyone was doing, too, not really topping, just adding their fearful opinion of the situation. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1097
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 09:48 pm: |
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I dont consider giving our opinions, or trying to help a couple in need the same thing as topping from the bottom. Thats what this forum is for after all...helping each other when needed.
I also put myself in Trish's place after reading her account of what happened. And the first thing that came to my mind was...even if I was being disciplined, I would hope that if I started crying HARD after 5 strokes that the man who loved me wouldnt continue for another 45! By 10 I would have stood up and heaved the chair at his head! At the very least I would be terrified of the cane and discipline from then on, and might never trust my partner to spank me again. 
K, I agreed with everything you said.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Spankingcouple
Junior Spanko
Username: Spankingcouple
Post Number: 59
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 09:47 pm: |
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thank you all very very much. i really appreciate all your good advice. i was very soundly caned last week and realizied andy does not know how to use the cane. my bottom was all striped up but it's fine now and all the marks are mostly gone. there are still a few welts but it looks alot better then it did. i know andy loves me very much and was teaching me a good lesson. andy has agreed to go back to the paddle which i like very much. the cane now scares me.
andy has also agreed to be caned by me. he still thinks i'm being "a big baby" about the whole thing. i have be practicing on a pillow and i'm getting pretty good. i don't want to hurt him but just show him the cane really hurts,alot! sometime this weekend i plan to cane him. i got my weekly punishment spanking this evening. only 30 swats. andy used a light weight paddle becase my bottom is still a little tender. and yes i cried. i always cry from punishment spankings. i guess i'm just a crier. i'll ask my sister to watch the kids sometime over the weekend to allows us a couple hours of private time. andy is in for a sore bottom.
again thank you very much,
trish |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1113
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 09:58 pm: |
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Good luck Trish, Im glad your feeling better. 
I also cry during punishments, more because I feel badly about him having to punish me than the actual pain. It doesnt make you a "big baby", it means that you are sorry for what you've done. And isnt that the point? 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Spankingcouple
Junior Spanko
Username: Spankingcouple
Post Number: 61
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 10:03 pm: |
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thank you so much.yes Wolfie you are so right. i hope i'm doing the right thing by canning andy. |
Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 246
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 01:42 am: |
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And where mihgt I purchase one of these said Singapore canes, LOL.... EBAY?
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1121
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 05:11 pm: |
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Geeeeez Katie, I couldnt get you to try the CB without taking the belt myself....and now you want a singapore cane?
Your one kinky brat! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 261
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 10:20 pm: |
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Well, I'm trying to push my limits. I ordered a few dragon canes last night - actually I ordered 5 but they were so freaking cool - one has an orb in the dragon's mouth. And I like to make my spankings artistic - well unless they are punishment that is, LOL.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 391
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 22, 2006 - 04:47 am: |
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With the site guidelines in mind, if anyone wants a link to the site I purchased my rubber coated Singapore, please e-mail me privately and I'll send it along.
K |
Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 275
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 22, 2006 - 07:35 pm: |
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thanks K and I shall do so! You rule! Then again, maybe I won't be thanking you later, LOL
Kate
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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