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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 683
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 07:04 pm: | 
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I'm planning to make some changes to the forum in the next few weeks that I wanted everyone to be aware of. Most have been discussed but some might be a surprise. The Reading, Everyday, Meet and Greet areas and Technical areas will stay the same so no worries there. Here in the Discussion Area, I plan to add some new and more specific discussion topic areas.
I think if we have areas devoted to discussions about the different aspects of spanking, it might encourage more open discussions. I'm thinking of devoting areas to DD, D/s, and BDSM for example.
The way it would work is, if someone wanted to discuss an aspect of DD they could go to that area and start a discussion knowing the only people in that area are there to discuss DD. If you don't have any interest or experience in DD, then don't post in that area out of consideration for the people there to discuss that topic.
There will still be a general spanking discussions area as well as another area for the "lighter side of spanking." That's where we can discuss the less serious topics that come up about spanking. You can be a little more playful in that area than in the more serious discussion area.
The jury is still out on the changes on the cyber play area. In case you're wondering about that, read the announcement I've posted in that area. You can't miss it, it's what you'll see instead of the threads when you first open the page. You have to scroll down to find the threads.
The area for spankos seeking partners is still in the works. I'm just trying to figure out how it will work. I'm going to include an area there for tips on how to meet someone online and keep your sanity and personal safety intact. The one thing I'm wavering on is who to include in that area. Should it be for spanko singles looking for serious partners for relationships as well as for spankos looking for a spanking partner only, and different areas for each? The problem with the non-singles has to do with my own personal viewpoints about spanking and relationships. I just want everyone to be upfront so no one gets any ugly surprises down the road. If someone does lie about their circumstances, their account will be deleted. One thing I do know for sure is that there will be no professionals, semi-professionals, or wannabe professionals allowed in that area. This is for people looking for partners, not clients.
I think that's all the changes I know of for now but I'll tell y'all if I think of any. I'm hoping the changes I'm going to make will help the Den grow in the direction I would like it to go. Thank you for your participation, everyone! |
Pinkcheeks
Junior Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 132
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 07:12 am: |
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 what GREAT ideas Bethie!!
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 47
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 08:17 am: |
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Sounds really great, Bethie! Good thinking! |
Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 333
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 10:27 am: |
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Just a question, Bethie. I don't intend this as a challenge - so I hope you don't read it that way.
Given that I don't do DD, and don't really see the erotic spanking we do as being D/s either...I don't see where I have a home.
I suppose some would consider erotic spanking to be 'spanking light' - but it's as strong a need to me as submission is to others.
Are you saying that you don't want me to post to DD or D/s areas? Because if so...I don't know where I would post.
I don't go into the play area. I do post stories, but that isn't enough to bring me here.
I'm not sure if the direction you want the site to go in is to cater more to 'lifestylers', for lack of a better word. If so, I absolutely respect that, but I will obviously delete my profile.
Either way, thank you for setting up the site, and best wishes to all.  |
Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 306
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 03:22 pm: |
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Pagan, I could be wrong and we'll see what Bethie says, but I think anyone can post anywhere. Just because you don't indulge in one aspect of spanking does not mean that you may not be interested in what it is, how it is done and other peoples views on that particular type of spanking.
EX: I definitely don't do BDSM, but I am facinated by the whole subject. So I will be most interested in reading, discussion and asking questions about that area of interest.
I do think though and perhaps I'm putting words in Bethie's mouth, sorry. That in those areas, DD, Ds BDSM whatever, that those people who post there, don't want an expresssion from someone who is not involved in it telling them that it is terrible. The people in those areas don't want to hear that. It is where there interest lie. I hope I'm right Bethie or you can clarify.
Ann
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 684
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 08:18 pm: |
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Ann, you explained it better than me, I think! When I said, "If you don't have any interest or experience in DD, then don't post in that area out of consideration for the people there to discuss that topic" I meant it to mean what Ann thought. You can post in those areas even if you are just interested, but always be considerate and aware of who the participants are and that this is their lifesyle. The basic rule might be said to be, just because it's not your kink doesn't mean it's wrong.
There have been times when someone has started a discussion that has received negative comments by people who don't have any interest, experience, or involvement in that area but since it was in the general area, it was open for general discussion. I'm hoping if there is a separate area for that type of discussion, then everyone will understand that is the type of posts that will be there. Anyone who is a member can post in any discussion area, they just have to go into that area knowing what will be discussed.
For example: We don't do DD or D/s but I'm still interested in those subjects and have participated in them in one form or the other over the years so I will be posting in those areas. Those aren't my exact lifestyle now but I still have interest and experience in them.
Pagan, I am primarily into erotic spanking as well, so believe me, there will be a place for that. When I said, "I'm thinking of devoting areas to DD, D/s, and BDSM for example" I meant just that - those were examples of the areas I want to set up. I'm in the final planning stages but I'm still working it out. I find myself feeling like the odd one out sometimes since Dan and I enjoy primarily erotic spankings but have a dash of DD thrown in for good measure. And we both enjoy really intense spankings as well as other kinks. Where do we fit in? Just about everywhere and yet nowhere it seems sometimes. I want an area for something along the lines of "spanking, sex, and submission" but haven't quite figured out how to make it work. The general spanking area isn't always quite right for what I have in mind. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
And not to worry, there will always be the general discussion area as it is now, but I just wanted to make more areas to open up discussions on those topics. It's not that I'm trying to cater to more lifestylers as much as I'm trying to encourage more discussions here and one generalized spanking discussion area just doesn't feel like enough.
I hope this clears my ideas up a little. 
Besides Pagan, you can't leave until you win another contest and I get to send you another spanking toy nightmare. 
(Message edited by Bethie on February 24, 2006) |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 478
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 05:21 am: |
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When I originally read the changes, I thought they were a good idea, and then reconsidered, after I read Pagan's point of view.
I too agree that the categories could be eliminating a few of us. I don't enjoy or practice DD, although I work to understand the draw to it, for those that feel they need it. I don't enjoy D/s and power exchange, but understand the draw to it, except to those that see gender supremacy as the rule. And, as for BDSM, I enjoy many aspects of it, but don't live the lifestyle. And when it comes to spanking specifically....I really only enjoy spanking for pleasure.
While spanking may be an offshoot category within the BDSM lifestyle, for the more pleasure seeking spankos, it's just seems a far extreme label, I think.
I never wanted to be categorized as a BDSMer, but I'm into S&M, so I'm shoved into that category by default, not be choice. I never thought or identified as a Sadist, but by most definitions, I am one.
Maybe a solution would be to enjoy a category for "pleasure" alone. An "erotic" section, to the others already suggested. I know many people that don't live the DD lifestyle, but they role play when having fun spank games. They don't live 24/7 dom/sub either, but they role play it, in scene. There's a crossover in all the categories, in one way or another, but I think with this group, it appears that predominant theme is DD, and females being punishment.
Honestly, I see it all under the umbrella of the same category, and for the most part, I think this "Discussion Area" works well enough. Sure I'd like the threads veering toward my own enjoyments, but when trying to get into the mood, in threads, the majority always go back to talking about punishment. It's the general theme here...made by the membership, for them. While it works, for the majority posting, it does seem to exclude others from being able to join in, by their inability to relate, or by being excluded by not having a thing to offer on the subject. (Not like "I'd" have a problem talking about anything.  )
Perhaps it's better for us, as a membership, not take offense to other's opinions, or lifestyle choices, and enjoyments. I haven't seen judgements abounding in this group, but perhaps private complaints have prompted the proposed changes.
Just my opinion, and after more thought, I think this group works well enough the way it is, although I'd enjoy seeing more participation from all those that enjoy spanking...for whatever reason.
K |
Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 271
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 07:09 am: |
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I'm not sure how I feel about the changes because I would have to see the catorgries frist. I tink I woukd fll n both Dd and D/s possible BDSM who knows but I think we all should sit back and wait I'm ure if Bethie sees or hears that we are unhappy the changes can be revesred. The good thing about change it is always happening and never remains the same
(Message edited by redhinney on February 25, 2006)
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 334
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 11:11 am: |
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Thanks, Bethie. I misunderstood what you meant.
Well...my two cents is that this may cause more problems than it solves.
It's hard to separate 'pure' DD from 'pure D/s', for instance. Sure, I understand that they're different - but some relationships have elements of both.
There's a lot of that, as FTop indicated. Discussions tend to evolve, and then we'll get the 'Oh, this belongs in the other section' comments.
Personally, I think this is a respect issue. If you want to play and post here, then have respect for the fact that others may choose lifestyles or situations that you may not.
So be it. Vive la difference. There is no 'right way' to bring spanking into your life. Just the one that's right for you - which is different than what's right for me.
We face enough judgment from the vanilla community. Let's not attack each other. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 685
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 03:02 pm: |
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Maybe because I've been thinking about this and turning it over in my mind so much that I seem to be having a tough time explaining this. Or maybe I'm just tired (it's been a tough week for me but I won't go into my ailments here). I was just trying to prepare you all for the addition of some new discussion areas. It's not exactly going to be divided so completely either. Let me try this again.
My main point is that I always planned to make this a larger discussion board. Now I want to open up more discussion areas in an effort to encourage more discussions and am hoping if there are more areas with more topic options, maybe we'll get more people talking and less lurking. I see the numbers every day and can't figure out what's going on.
Okay, as for the new sections:
The DD and D/s section will probably be one since there is so much crossover there.
The BDSM area will probably be called something else such as "Bondage, S&M, and Other Kinks That Go Great With Spanking." I was calling it the BDSM area for lack of something better (and shorter) to call it. I'm still planning remember?
There will probably be an area for erotic spanking discussions (that one still doesn't have a title). That area will be for spanking topics that aren't discipline related. I may be posting there alone, but, hey, it's my board so who cares if I talk to myself about how much I love my flogger?
There will be an area for light-hearted or less serious spanking discussions. Somehow those discussions don't fit in the general discussion area or cyber play area either.
If you're wondering what the general discussion area will be for, it will be for anything spanking related that is up for general discussion. Such as the threads about how to introduce spanking, spanking movies, literature, questions about spanking anything that doesn't fit in the other more specific topics. Just like it is now but there will be areas to discuss the things that don't fall into the general category as an outgrowth.
As for what happens when a thread goes off topic will be the same as now. If a thread starts veering away from the subject matter and a new subject appears to have taken on a life of it's own and could carry on with more input, a new thread can be started in the general area or any other area where it fits and then maybe explain where the discussion started if you want clarity. We do that now when a thread goes off topic.
Now be prepared, this is going to be a rant. As for the cyber play area, I really want to phase it out. I'm sorry but it's become too hard to moderate. It's my fault completely for not getting in under control months ago, but since I don't do cyber play, I was afraid of over-moderating it. Instead, by not continously making my presence felt, I let it go to hell. It's the spoiled brat I created and so far, no amount of setting up guidelines, discussing the problems, and lecturing has helped - and spanking sure won't help in that area! Sorry, about that. The truth is, I should never have included it since it's outside my comfort zone and ability to contribute. I knew better but I felt like it could be a fun place for spankos who wanted that type of play in their life. I've decided I can't be all things to all spankos. In the end, this my cyber den and I feel like a bad hostess for letting that area get messy. Besides, some days I spend so much time over there reading through the threads to make sure no rules are being broken that I don't get to spend the time I'd like in the discussion area. If you're one of the people who've said you can't stand to read through them, then you might be able to understand how I feel some days when it's really busy. And it's too big a job to give to anyone else. It's become a moderating nightmare. Please no one apply for the job either, it's not something I can consider right now. *sigh* Okay, rant over.
I'll probably put the cyber area into hybernation at least and later bring it back with some very specific guidelines and a devoted mod if I can find one.
We'll have a sort of play area in the "lighter" spanking discussions area and if there is some flirting and playing, that's all fine and good. But cyber role playing just hasn't seem to work for us here. Which is too bad.
Like I said, I planned for this to be a discussion forum in the first place, now I'm just making changes to try and expand that plan.
Okay, I think that does it, but please keep up the feedback! I'm kinda crazy right now so I might have missed something (not that I was doing such a great job explaining in the first place).  |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 481
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 04:30 pm: |
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Here's an example of categories from one of the groups I belong to online.
Just to show how another Forum works around the many discussions. Many times Moderators move threads, and even delete them, if outside the subject matter, or posted in the wrong thread. It seems to work well there, and you then get to pick and chose what you want to read a bit more easily. This particular site is also free right now.
"Ask a Master" and another one titled "Ask the Mistress" - variation of course could be, "Ask the Spanker"
"Ask the Submissive" - "Ask the Spankee"
"Ask a Switch"
"Alternative Lifestyles in the News" - I don't think this is a good topic here though, unless it's "Spanking on Tv/Movies" maybe (and keeping ADULT ONLY)
"General Discussion" - like you have now
"Bondage Gear and Apparel" - maybe could be "Toys and More Toys"
"Health and Safety" - a category for scene related safety and usually general overall health concerns whether scene or not
"Off Topic Discussions"
"Humor"
"Polls and other random stupidity" - the catch all category for what doesn't fit anywhere else. |
Pinkwench
Junior Spanko
Username: Pinkwench
Post Number: 69
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 09:41 pm: |
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Hey, haven't been around lately, but just have been reading tonight again. 
I can understand wanting to split off the DD-D/S-BDSM to its own area, but I just wanted to say that I have loved the generalized discussion area where we could talk about pretty much anything spanking related.
I think most members or contributor's to this discussion area, figure out pretty quickly that this is an easy, friendly, open place that is really not a hard-core, beat me, bruise me, make me write bad checks kind of place. However I know there are truly many kinds of "spanko/ee's", and perhaps the DD-D/s-BDSM categories need a separate area to discuss issues that are more relative to their lifestyles.
For us, spanking, with some BDSM, is all used but for us it is totally a sexually related experience, and never will be anything else other than that, because it’s just not right for Jake and I. 
That’s just my two cents |
Poofette
Junior Spanko
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 53
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 11:32 pm: |
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"There will probably be an area for erotic spanking discussions (that one still doesn't have a title). That area will be for spanking topics that aren't discipline related. I may be posting there alone, but, hey, it's my board so who cares if I talk to myself about how much I love my flogger?"
Bethie,
You will not be alone, talking to yourself. That kind of area is right up my alley. I'm not always comfortable reading or responding to the DD postings because I am not at all sure I even get the concept. Role playing little scenes are one thing, living it another. I AM NOT JUDGING here (the point I believe)but it's just not for me. I don't want to offend or come across as judgemental, far be it from me to pass judgement on someone elses kinks/lifestyles when I have so many of my own to contend with!!!! As far as the other changes you are talking about.....try them out, if they don't work or take too much of your time, there's a great little key called delete.
Poofette
PS Meant to mention this before...thanks for creating and maintaining a great little website! |
Rex138
New member
Username: Rex138
Post Number: 45
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 09:47 am: |
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I can see both sides and here is my two cents.
I actually like when I come to the discussion area, seeing all kinds of posts. My wife and I don't practice DD but I'm more apt to read and post if the headline catches my attention. I probably wouldn't have read (and posted) on some topics as I might not have ventured into a more specific group if that wasn't what I was into.
I think the way you have it now, you can see a sprinkling of topics by headline and choose to go in or not with one click.
"And that's all I have to say about that."
"It seemed like a good idea at the time."
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