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Biggirl
New member Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 1 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 01:48 am: |
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I am a new member. Just joined actually. I need advice about spanking. I LOVE to be spanked! I want to be the submissive in a domestic discipline relationship. I need advice. My biyfriend usually spanks me with my "paddle" hairbrush & I LOVE it. But I get black&blue marks & then he won't give me more until they are completely gone. How can I help him be "ok" with it so I don't have to wait so long in between spankings. Another area I need advice on is how do I get over my "embarassment" about discussing this with my boyfriend? |
Jodima
New member Username: Jodima
Post Number: 30 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 06:50 am: |
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Biggirl, he'll get more and more used to it over time. Just keep assuring him that you _like_ the marks and admiring them. As to how to talk about it... frank, open and honest is the order of the day and really the best route. Another thing you could do is print out some of your favorite articles or stories about spanking and DD (since you said you're into DD) for him to read and let those be a starting point for a discussion. Be patient. These things take time, even in solid, long-term relationships. |
Fanny
Spanko Username: Fanny
Post Number: 288 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 07:46 am: |
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BB, maybe he needs to make some adjustments to avoid the bruising. If you read some of the posts here, you might get some ideas. There are impliments you can try that don't bruise as easily but give a mighty wallop. Warm up swats also help. |
Wyatt
Junior Spanko Username: Wyatt
Post Number: 95 Registered: 04-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 10:16 am: |
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Welcome Biggirl! I will admit one thing here. I don't find bruised bottoms attractive. I don't like to bruise DB's bottom for that reason. I find a tender, white bottom very alluring because I naturally want to give it a spanking. And then I like to 'admire my work' because I also love a pink/red bottom. I think I'll start a tread on cornertime and bottom display. Bruises, sorry, I don't like to see them. But that's just me. |
Fanny
Spanko Username: Fanny
Post Number: 295 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 12:04 pm: |
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I totally agree with you Wyatt. A virginal looking bottom is much more appealing. Bruises scare me. |
Headteddy
Spanko Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 105 Registered: 04-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 12:30 pm: |
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Hi guys-I fianally have an afternoon off-at least until 3. Manna. Biggirl: I totally agree with Fanny and Wyatt re bruising. To me it is not very attractive and just feels wrong for me as a top. I don't want our play to devastate-sting like crazy yes-leave a little soreness yes but bruising is a place we try very hard to avoid,, I have only bruised TD once in 27 years and I was crushed-- that was with a hairbrush. I have posted that story before if you want to check it out. Have your boyfriend smack a little less hard (more wrist less full arm) and longer. Spread them out in an overlaping pattern. Use an implement that wider and if thick make sure it is layered not solid--that is why so many like the CB paddle. As to talking about it -Jodima is right on. Honesty first and foremost and have him read some of the posts here or well done stories. In any event welcome and enjoy. Best HT Every Challenge is An Opportunity
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Smartnnaughty
New member Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 35 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 10:45 pm: |
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So do you think there are people that like the bruising and others that don't? |
Headteddy
Spanko Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 108 Registered: 04-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 11:09 pm: |
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SNN: Its a personal aesthetic and emotional decision. There are definitely people for whom bruisng is an emotional link to the spanking and if that increases their bond and enjoyment great. Its just not that way for me and TD. Enjoy: HT Every Challenge is An Opportunity
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Bethie
Post Number: 171 Registered: 04-2005
| Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 12:59 am: |
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Hi and welcome, Biggirl! I can tell you what works for us and hope that our experiences help. I rarely bruise but I credit Dan's expertise for that. He gives wonderful warmups. He's careful to start slow and build the intensity. He also rubs alot which is really nice. Then my bottom's ready for a good hard spanking. Also, after a good spanking, he provides soothing aftercare. We prefer aloe vera lotion. Some people say arnica works for them but I've heard good and bad about it. Aloe works for us so we use that. Personally, I like to see a little bit of marking after a spanking. I'll admire it in the mirror and enjoy it the same as I do a little tenderness. They're just nice reminders to me. If you're the same way, have you told him this? You've said you're a little embarrassed to talk to your boyfriend about spanking. I know it's not always easy to discuss intimate matters but if you don't, you won't get what you want. I've found it's best to discuss these things when you find yourself in a comfortable situation with your guy. Not an intimate one (although it could lead to something intimate). Also, be sure and tell him what he's doing right and how much you enjoy and appreciate his efforts before you suggest any changes. Tell him you understand his concerns about bruising. You might tell him you've been reading what other spankos have to say about these things. Blame it on us if you want. Say we suggested more warmups, aftercare, and less whallup and more wrist action. Also, you say you enjoy the hairbrush, but have you tried something less thuddy like leather? I love my new paddle. It's pretty as well as functinal. Wooden implements tend to bruise more because they're hard and don't give on impact. Leather is more giving but stingy. With good leather paddles, what you give up in thud, you make up for in sting. I hope this helps. Good luck! |
Celticbratt
New member Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 19 Registered: 04-2005
| Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 07:08 am: |
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Hi everyone- I'm one of the subbies that likes the marks to last a while. I'm very light skinned , so it doesn't take a lot for me to get a bruise. I like it, because it gives me a tangible reminder that his hand, belt, ect was placed "right there" ever so lovingly. I'm leaving tonight for a 4 day clothing optional Pagan retreat....re. peoples runnin' around the woods naked under cloaks type thing ;) He told me he wanted to be sure I had a reason to keep my clothes ON...heeheeehee |
Biggirl
New member Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 3 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 08:36 am: |
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CelticBrat: I am PA=agan TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This so exciting. Where is your event? Have you heard of a Pagan friendly (everyone friendly actually) called "Brushwood"? It is located in NY state. I have been there & it was the best experience I have ever had. I am not exagerating (sp?) to say it was the most accepting & welcoming place I have ever been. They have a website if you wanted to check it out. I think I am cool with it if I get some bruises as I am very fair skined as well. But I don't find it attractive & totally respect his feelings on the matter. He is 100% behind me experiencing my.....long repressed desires & I am so blessed to have a man in my life who respects me & adores me as much as he does. I wouldn't want to have anyone else as a partner. Bethie: Thank you so much for the advice. It is so cool of all of you to be so open & supportive. I feel so much better & even....... confident about discussing things with him now. Not that I had anything to fear from talking to him.....he has not judged me at all & he doesn't about anything. It is my own hangup. My ex (of 11 years) totally flipped & called me names & made fun of me etc when I brought it up with him. I know it stems from that & I am doing my very best to make progress in lots of areas of my life & this is one of them. He is so patient with me....well I guess you can tell I am actually in LOVE. It is a real emotional accomplishment for me. I am going to talk to him this weekend about this site & all the great advice. I think he will logon & read things. He was so wonderful last night. We were having fun & will give me "bad girl smacks" I guess would be the best way to describe them. Sort of DD w/out intention. I really enjoyed it of course but what was so wonderful (to me) is that after the 2nd time he looked at me really intently & told him how he would never do something "like that" out of context & wants me to understand that etc. I sound like a "gushing schoolgirl" to myself but I just feel so Blessed to be loved by him. Thank you all so much for your kindness & support & advice. It is helping me so much!!!!!!! I hope everyone has a Spankingly Wonderful Memorial Day weekend!!!!!!!!!!!! BigGirl |
Kennysspankee
New member Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 17 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 07:31 pm: |
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On the subject of marking. Does anyone have any ideas as to why I keep getting blood blisters? We don't do much of a warmup, usually start with a wood paddle like the CB only smaller, but just as thick, (we made it), then we move on the leather straps. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Bethie
Post Number: 186 Registered: 04-2005
| Posted on Friday, May 27, 2005 - 01:08 am: |
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Biggirl, I'm so glad you've found a good guy who understands and loves you enough to try spanking for you. That's wonderful and I'm happy for you. As for sounding like a gushing schoolgirl, have you read my latest comments in the Fantasy Game thread? Now that's some gushing schoolgirl stuff for you. It's all true but still gushing. I love my spanko man and I don't mind telling everyone about it. Kennysspankee, I've thought about what might be causing your blood blisters but I've no clue as to what's going on there. You might need more warmup with his hand. Dan starts out spanking me all over my bottom and slowly intensifies his spanks. He's slow and steady at first but once he's got me warmed up, he really spanks. Maybe you could try switching to a leather paddle instead of the wood one. I have an iron bottom and that cb can be hard for me to take without a good warmup. Also, are you taking good care of your bottom? I know that sounds weird but it can be important. I mosturize the heck out of mine every day to encourage blood flow and keep the skin supple. Maybe you could suggest having your guy rub mosturizer into your bottom right before bed. Tell him to make sure he gives you a good massage to help keep your bottom healthy. Wow! I think I need a massage now. |
Kennysspankee
New member Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 18 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Friday, May 27, 2005 - 04:29 am: |
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Thanks Bethie. We'll have to try a slower, longer warmup. We have the boudoir paddle from London Tanners, but I thought it might be worse to start out with cause it's heavier feeling than the wood paddle. We'll try that also. I moisturize too. We first started having this trouble with the cane (a 7.5mm). We've discovered that it works best (through trial and error) on a white bum and no wood after . I figure the cane primes the area up, then the wood pops them out. Haven't tried leather after the cane yet. I bought a Beurer Soft Laser through the Canadian Home Shopping Channel that claimed to get rid of scars (which I have a few from when the blisters broke a year ago). I haven't had much time to put into the scars as I've been battling the blood blisters. It gets rid of a bad blister in 3 to 4 days depending on how much time I put into it. |
Biggirl
New member Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 4 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Friday, May 27, 2005 - 02:11 pm: |
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Kennysspankee: I have been doing some research on bruises in my Herbal books. (it's a huge interest of mine) I have come up with some "traetments" of my own for other things Ex:adult acne from the BC pill because nothing Rx or OTC worked for me, severe muscle fatigue & pain from fibromyalgia, a tincure that helps.......men please don't get angry......helps with.......being able to "last longer" during intercourse & a tincure that helps big time with diminshed sex drive. Anyway....here is some of what I found. Besides the arnica which should not be applied only topically but should be taken sublingually. Bromelain 200-400mg daily preventatively increased if bruising occurs is said to work wonders from the owner of the shop I frequent first in my town before going to Whole Foods. I trust this store completely as it is owned by a Dr. He is a fee for service Dr who has no relationships with insurance companies. He is a "true healer" He uses the best of Natural medicine & western for his pts. Horse Chestnut Cream & Oregeno oil topically. I used a "homemade treatment" of mine last night & my bruises are totally gone. And they were quite black & purple still. (I got them on Monday) What I did was get a Horse Chestnut cream & I mixed in arnica, aloe & oregeno oil. (Oregeno oil is easily made from the plant that can be bought lots of places this time of year but it is not nearly as strong as what can be bought) How I make it is not an oil but I don't know what else to call it. I learned how to use plants for healing as a teenager from my neighor, Nunnie, who was born in Ireland & lived there until she was 17 when she came to America. She learned from her Nunnie. I am still seeking a herbal certification program in my area so my knowledge is from her & all things I have read. Horse Chestnut can also be taken internally but it is almost always called Aescin in tablet form. Please know though do not ever ever ever ever ever take any herb if you are pregnant or are trying to concieve. I CAN NOT POSSIBLY STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is just not worth the risk EVER! There are a couple of other things I am going to try after my next spanking. (happily awaiting of course) There is a type of witch hazel that can be purchased that is already mixed with aloe. I use it for after shaving and have never had so much as a bump since. It also works wonders with burns. I would be happy to let you all know how my experiments are working & recipes if anyone is interested. And if you want to "talk" offline so as not to take up space in the discussion board...I don't know if this was inappropriate of me....I apologize if it is....that is cool with me. I just thought since I started the topic I should share what things I have found. Brighest Blessings, BigGirl |
Kennysspankee
New member Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 19 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Friday, May 27, 2005 - 10:07 pm: |
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Biggirl, that sounds quite impressive for bruises. I will try it if I get any. I read in a magazine about the horse chestnut for bruising problems and also for spider veins. I wonder if that cream would help blood blisters to heal faster. |
Biggirl
New member Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 5 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:54 am: |
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Kennyspankee: I was really surprised myself. G got a better look today....hehe....said they could be seen still up close....maybe not enough light when I looked in our apt mirror (we live in a studio) I found a site:Spankoz Austrailia & there was a section/link on bruising....more things were reccomended if you want to check it out. Things I read were listed there too & that felt "cool" to me. I believe/think that we are in the beginning stages so it is going to be trail & error for a while. I just want to minimize so as to "protect" his feelings in a way if that makes sense. I appreciate his willingness & patience so deeply. I feel so much better now that I have found this site & can talk to peole with positive experience in the lifestyle I would like to have. I am even discovering what I want opposed to what I don't when it comes to the spanker/spankee relationship. The essay on the Creatively Spanked Wife was beneficial to me in many ways as it articulated for me what I was/am not yet experienced enough to articulate for myself right now. This may sound.....off.....but part of my name;BigGirl is because of my desire to become comfortable with who I am in my skin right now.....ok......well there are other aspects of my life (issues) I have also decided to work on during this unemployed time right now. ...what may seem off is that I feel better about that....my possibility of attaining lifestyle changes (Oprah/Dr Phil terms) now that I have begun spanking with my Love G. Does anyone have any thoughts or experience that may be similar? Brightest Universal Blessings to you All!!!! BigGirl |
Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 1 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 11:02 pm: |
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I need to know what my partners need to do to get my ass sore and red. He and I are new at this. |
Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 2 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 12:37 am: |
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i know i just posted this, but we need help. We want my ass so sore and red and we really don't know what is the best for this. Can someone give us some advice real soon. I'm about to explode over here. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1324 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 06:52 am: |
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Kittycat, welcome and may I suggest you look into some of the threads here. This is an often discussed topic and you will see it weave in an out of several topics. There is no one answer, but browse away and look for some acvice. Queen of Innocence "Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Kiwi_man
Junior Spanko Username: Kiwi_man
Post Number: 96 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 08:00 am: |
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Kittycat, A good wooden hairbrush is all you'll need.Start slowly,you'll be surprised at how tough it is to take.Be careful and good luck. |
Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 3 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 08:04 am: |
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Thanks. Is spanking all it's cracked (no pun intended) to be? Do you usually end up having sex afterward? |
Kiwi_man
Junior Spanko Username: Kiwi_man
Post Number: 98 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 08:21 am: |
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The answer to both those questions awaits you. Do you want to be turned on or punished? Like many things,you'll get back what you put in.Explore.And always remember the 3 magic words:SANE,SAFE,CONSENSUAL. It's the only way to fly. |
Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 4 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 08:52 am: |
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I guess I want to be both, turned on and punished. I was just spanked, by hand, for using this website so early in the day. And you know what, it felt good. A little hard to sit, but good |
Kiwi_man
Junior Spanko Username: Kiwi_man
Post Number: 100 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 09:05 am: |
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I'd like to talk some more sometime soon. Right now however,I have to deal with some very deserving cases in my study. I suggest you take some time to make a list of all the spankings you've deserved but never received.Be honest and thorough.Then you might like to make a formal private occassion of receiving a good sound spanking for past misdeeds,choosing a special out-fit and preparing the room where the punishment will take place.Put something bubbly in an ice-bucket(Champagne is the perfect post-spanking beverage),Your favourite food in the fridge and take the whole thing seriously.And then see what happens...... |
Vulcano
New member Username: Vulcano
Post Number: 21 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 09:16 am: |
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Ha, ha, such a thought seems to be very alluring to me too.. could I join one day too?? There's a lot of misdeeds my spanko man hasn't yet punished me for... so in case he won't do that himself... |
Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 5 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 09:42 am: |
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HEY KIWI MAN, YOU SOUND COOL. I'M GETTING HOT JUST TALKING TO YOU. GOTTA RUN. I'LL TRY TO GET BACK ABOUT 109PM CHICAGO TIME. IF NOT, I'LL LOOK FOR YOU TOMORROW. |
Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 6 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 08:28 pm: |
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hi kiwiman it's kittycat. being new at this i'm not sure how to go about this. i got your e-mail and wasn't sure where to reply. Sorry, i'm not really that great on the computer. |
Kimbers
Spanko Username: Kimbers
Post Number: 121 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 09:52 pm: |
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Say Kittycat....first, welcome! Most of the play is done via the Cyber-play area. Not to say you can't private message him if you choose, but you might want to take a peek at the other areas too. Again, welcome! "When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before" - Mae West
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Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 13 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 09:17 am: |
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Hi Like I said I'm new at this and need some help. We have used a hairbrush, a bare hand and even a fly swatter. During this is feels wonderful. Afterwards my ass is so hot and red I can't describe the feeling. Only problem is the next morning my ass is all bruised. Can this be prevented? Please don't tell me he's spanking to hard. I wish it were harded. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1347 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 09:50 am: |
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Do you bruise from every thing? Hairbrushes can cause bruising because the are smaller and more concentrated. A flyswatter causes a lot of stinging, but shouldn't leave lasting marks. Try going more for length rather than strength. I find a slower warm up moving to firmer spanks works well, alternating between soft and harder swats. After a few minutes even the more gentle ones really sting. Make sure you keep your muscles from clentching, it helps if you don't keep your thighs close together. Arnica cream after a spanking does help to minimize bruises. Try a light to medium weight and size paddle, it gives a broader coverage. Queen of Innocence "Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Kimbers
Spanko Username: Kimbers
Post Number: 124 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 09:54 am: |
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Gosh Fanny, how ever would you know these things? <grin> "When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before" - Mae West
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1350 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 09:56 am: |
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I read a lot? Queen of Innocence "Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Kimbers
Spanko Username: Kimbers
Post Number: 125 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:01 am: |
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Yes, I am just sure that is it! "When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before" - Mae West
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Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 14 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 06:20 pm: |
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Hey Fanny, Thanks for the advice. We'll try that. I really hate the thought of having to stop even for one day. We'll try the paddles next time. I'll let you know how your advice worked. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1360 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 09:52 pm: |
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Just make sure to keep that paddle moving, not repeating the same spot. Full coverage but stay away from the lower back. Most woman have enough padding to spank the upper thighs as well. If you really want some stinging action, go for the inner thighs. OW!!! Queen of Innocence "Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 15 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:18 pm: |
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Fanny Took your advice and went for the paddles. You know the kind with the rubber balls on the string. Can't wait to try that out.Maybe it's my fault for being new, but how do you get to the inner thighs? |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1362 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:28 pm: |
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The same way you would get to the inner thighs for any other reason. If you are OTK, you can keep one foot on the floor between his feet and the other stretched out back. Try some different positions, some will give you better access to one thigh and then flip the opposite direction to get the other thigh. Another trick, have your spanker sit on the edge of the bed and instead of going across, lie with your head behind him with you straddling one of his legs (got it?) This leaves your legs apart straddling one of his legs. Queen of Innocence "Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 16 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 08:15 am: |
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Hey Fanny, just wanted to sit down and thank you for the advice, but I can't. Hurts to much so I'll stand here and do it. That paddle works great! Started across his knees then tried your other suggestions. Afterwards took a shower to cool down and when I came out dripping wet, he did it again. It stung more than before and I was in heaven. May not sit down for a while but it felt so good. Thanks. |
Smartnnaughty
Spanko Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 255 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 08:22 am: |
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A wet spanking? Put that on my to do list! I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Kittycat
New member Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 17 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 08:54 am: |
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Hey KiwiMan Got your message, but had trouble responding. Can you email me at my personal email address? Talk to you later. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1363 Registered: 05-2005
| Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 09:49 am: |
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yes, for some reason a wet spanking is a bit more intense!!! Queen of Innocence "Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Speccotter
New member Username: Speccotter
Post Number: 7 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Saturday, August 27, 2005 - 04:13 am: |
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Biggirl My advice is leather and read the thread--Need advice about buying my first paddle. Leather can warm you very will and allow more play time MMMMMM. Kennysspankee leather may also help you as wood paddles can leave blisters easily for those of use who bruise, a hand can break skin on me during an otk if care isn't taken. Speccotter |